Death, God, and Coffee

There in the corner

My stack of journals

And notes

Is the bourbon

The perfect line I just wrote

—-

I wonder if you will ever understand

You wonder if I could ever hold you

Like I hold words

—-

How do you separate

All of the salt from the sea?

How do you separate our two hearts

From the beats

——

And wake up alone

In the heat of the night

Out of the darkness

I talk to Death and to God

We drink our coffee

And write notes

But it’s nothing to see

Death is too tired anymore

And God is just a war vet with a broke heart used to the pain …

——

And I’m doing time in these mountains

Afraid I’ll never be happy

Wondering what’s left of me?

Is there anything left to see?

Empty

Today I am not myself
& you well,you….
you’re just the same.
I suppose you never change.
So take all of the pieces to my puzzle
And keep them safe
My
Time
Is a flower in your ocean
And I’m walking too deep
As it floods this broken house
Set it on fire
There’s no picture frames
With empty names
Just memories
So burn it to the ground
I am not myself today
And you’re just the same
I suppose you never change
Try to write it all out
But there’s just this empty
Page …
So speak in colour
Cut out the parts of me that’ll be the death of me
Leave the good behind
Just set me on fire
My bones are winter
And my voice is coal
I’m selfish and I’m vain
There’s not much left that remains
But when I go flying off the edge…..
You go flying off as well.
So take all of me.

.

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One for the century

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Nerves on my skin are raw again
And I can’t focus
I’m at this place again

You come for me
But I’m not here
You look for me
But I’m not there
It takes two for it to work
Not one and the other at their
Convenience
I’m a terrible mess

And after all this time
I can’t believe
The pieces
I’ve hid away
That you can’t see
And no one ever told us about
The break after the fall
And no one ever told us
About the pain in
learning to walk
And between all the politics
And the world
And religion
And war
Somebody should have told us
That people aren’t objects
You can’t put them in cages to pour your love in and control
You can’t use people or judge them
Someone should have told us
The worst we can do
Is underestimate ourselves
Here we are numb at the starting gate
Hiding our shadows from the light
It’s been a long time coming
Can you help me make sense of this place ?
Can I hide my face in you?

In closing

She is fire to my veins
Her touch
Electric
Burning deep
Her voice is a calm
In the midst of the noise

Her smile
Her laugh
The way she is
How she moves

And so here we are
This is us
5 hour conversations
between
sleep and being awake
Her voice is soft
and you can hear her Smile …

I don’t know how this ends
But if it all goes down
Tomorrow
If the world comes apart
As we walk out the door
At least
We were honest
At least we loved
At least we reached across those walls

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Photo link http://pinterest.com/pin/225180050092144026/

Shadow points

Every time 

My heart breaks

I wish that I could …

Every time your world shakes

I wish that I could…

Every night I lie awake

I wish that I could ..

There’s a secret here inside 

We live we love we die 

I have learned to lie 

You’ve constructed me 

And, The pain is real inside

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“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired. … “
Fitzgerald

Runner

Break of dawn
I feel alive in this moment
On the train tracks
I feel ..
The air
My health
My name
My youth
My time

I close my eyes
I am somewhere
I breathe the mountain
And I run

I feel opportunity
And only opportunity

I pray for open doors
I pray now more than ever before
I pray for favor
I pray for courage
I pray for wisdom
I pray for opportunity

I run
the tracks
To the outside of town
My heart pushing me further
Sweat , pain , I just keep moving
I have a moment
This is a defining moment
To live my life
And take a shot
My eyes are burning
There is fire in my blood
And I am aware of nothing else
But the awesome length of these
Tracks
And the years I have been given
To run them
I feel
Opportunity

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