Well done Or well said ?

We say we want to see the world
We say we want to change
We say we want to grow
We say we want love
We want
Want
I

But if I gave you an immigrant
Instead of France
What would you do ?
Would you listen for a story ?
Would you let that sink in ?
Or would you judge them ….

We love characters like Jean Valjean
But judge real ex cons

We want love
Without knowing what it is
We want a one in a million kind of girl
Who wants us to build her a world
And miss the once in lifetime woman
Because she requires us to earn a place in a life she’s already built

We are missing it

What if I told you it’s not in what you say, but in what you do ?
What if I told you our world is about to change ?
Judging people …
Leaving people..
Self righteous
while we’re being filed away and categorized by our GOV
We are the fool

Let love break you
Let life shake you
Let it touch you
The people
The faces
The leaving
The heartache
If only
So that you may know
That you can survive

We want it all
But maybe it’s right here
A little at a time
Pieces
Capable of changing us
Look for the people
The hearts
Not the world
Not the tour
Not the vacation

We say we want …
But I’m afraid
We’re afraid of all the wrong things
We are afraid of what we don’t know
And trust what we’ve been told .

People
The ones you love
The ones you see everyday
Right here
Right now
How many faces do you see?
How many do you know ?
that’s what we have
That’s all we ever have
And tomorrow
Tomorrow the life we knew
it might all be gone
Will you be Jean Valjean
Or will you be something else

Midnight

I’m sorry
I’m just a churning mess inside right now
And I have no idea what to do

I’ve been here before
It’ll get better
If I run
Run like crazy
And work out
God
It starts inside
And works it’s way to the surface
Like
needles picking
Picking
And then I get sick
Shaking
And I can’t breathe
I wish I could sleep
But I can’t do that either
So I write
And I pray
Which isn’t really praying
It’s just me walking and talking
I’ve never been able to pray
Like I did when I was little
And super religious
Now I just
Talk
And listen
And write
But more often than not
I find myself crying these days

I feel completely
Completely useless
Worn
I’m tired
And I’m afraid I’ll never catch up

Depression is not new to me
Anxiety is not new to me
Sickness and hospitals are not new

I’ve grown up around it
With it

The long nights
Everything I’ve just described
But there’s this dream of an older me
I’m so afraid I’ll never catch you
Reach you
The dream
The light
The promise of a life ….
Where I make you happy .
And that’s when I realize it
I just want to be happy
And if I can help someone else be happy …. Breathe easier …
It gets better

it gets better
It does
It comes and it goes
It scary
You start crying after you wake up from a dream …
A dream …
And you can’t stop .

The images flash across your eyes
The voices from the past …
And you’re froze
Petrified

I’m not the best at this
I try to hide this
But then I thought
Maybe you could use this
Even this
Because it gets better
I have to believe that

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Morning

Stand in the morning
Is it light enough ?
To give away
What I am ?
I think I like who I am becoming
I hope you understand
I try
I try to give you words
But all I have are feelings
They get held up in my chest
So all I have is silence
And in this … There is us
Together
In the morning light
Waiting
Watching
I think I like who I am becoming
I think…
I heard you say I am enough
Even with the silence
I am enough
Even without the words
I am enough
And I let go
I breathe
And I begin to live again
Because I am finally enough
Just as I am

Lights In The Sky

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God

a little  of God inside each of us

Us

scattered  like stars in the night

the beating power of eternity  thunders inside  each of our chest

the creative life force of  heaven wrapped within  the confines of the imagination

the seedbed of destiny

what if we are stronger than we think?

what if there is no danger in the night?

no stalkers in the dark

what if this chaos , this empty – black pitch

is a canvas for the creative life force within each of us

a backdrop

to paint our destiny

what if we were made with a little bit of God inside of us

What a difference

I would like to…

I would like to buy three dollars worth of God, please. Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough of Him to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation. I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack, please. I would like to buy three dollars worth of God, please.

Wilbur Reese

Is this serenity or something else?

Sometimes I wonder what leadership is

Sometimes I wonder what holiness is

Sometimes I wonder….

Is it enough to pull at all the loose ends?

is getting myself together all that salvation demands?

a managed  life in the end?

Does God forgive, no matter what, because that’s just what he does?

– wait a minute ? isn’t that legalism –  salvation by works? as in ” God loves you because you have pulled yourself together and are trying to live a good and disciplined life”

when we see things that make us uncomfortable but see no need to sacrifice our safety  to stand up to them…..I wonder just what our narcotic is.

Or is is it just Formalism?

Sometimes I wonder about ethics , character , courage ,  leadership, compassion, conviction and passion ….

I just wonder…what  America was like and what we were  intended to BE .

America was intended to BE a shining city on a hill . Unlike anything before .

What a calling and opportunity for us to step up for the hour ….but this isn’t the case..so I wonder .

“The complexity of our times hinders the rise of leadership.

Perhaps we have become too analytical to take decisive action . 
We are being pulled in so many different directions that it’s almost impossible to unite behind a leader .” 

– John Maxwell

cheap grace ” – a non – costly love from a non-holy God who just loves and accepts us as we are . That will never change anyone’s life . 

-Timothy J. Keller

is there another way to go?

One where we fight for right and speak out against evil

one where salvation comes in like spring fresh and new , and men are changed

one where we live in the light  with courage and  a boldness which is not our own…

“We are saved by faith alone – but not a faith which is alone” 

– Luther

” Silence in the face of evil is itself  evil ; God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak . Not to act is to act. ” 

– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.”

Psalm 27

The psalmist says ” In spite of this I shall be confident ”

and I believe

I believe that we all don’t see things the way a “majority elite ” would have us to

I believe that even when voices tell us to let policies and procedure go unquestioned

That detail and information is none of our concern

I believe that when these voices tell us to be afraid of these things

We will question …without fear

Because these voices don’t speak for the rest of us

I believe

We will pray with conviction

We will hear the call and meet the hour – with a standard

as long as there is a sunrise over America …I believe as  Jonathan in the Bible when  he took the philistine camp  …

“perhaps the LORD will work for us, for the LORD is not restrained to save by many or by few.”

– 1 Samuel 14:6

I still believe in us , you and I .

in the words of  President Reagan in his first inaugural address ;

I believe we, the Americans of today, are ready to act worthy of ourselves, ready to do what must be done to ensure happiness and liberty for ourselves, our children and our children’s children.And as we renew ourselves here in our own land, we will be seen as having greater strength throughout the world. We will again be the exemplar of freedom and a beacon of hope for those who do not now have freedom. The crisis we are facing today requires  our best effort, and our willingness to believe in ourselves and to believe in our capacity to perform great deeds; to believe that together, with God’s help, we can and will resolve the problems which now confront us. And, after all, why shouldn’t we believe that? We are Americans. God bless you, and thank you .