Into oblivion

Some teenagers asked
Me what you were like today…
they are too young
They don’t remember a world
Before this
It shocked me
And then I realized how many years have passed …
And so here I am
An adult now
Finally ready
I can tell my story

9/11
You were the day
September
Became more than
Just a birthday
I looked at the sky
With fear
The world as I knew it….
changed
the day
A city called New York
Felt like it was
Somehow
In my back yard
And I memorized it’s skyline
It’s buildings
It’s streets

the month,no.
The year
I had nightmares
Of paper towns
And iron cities
With white washed faces….
You were the year
I memorized the quote
On the Statue of Liberty
And
“Conspiracy theories”
Had faces and definitions
I will never see
“the potato chip”
The same

you became
The second date I
Mark on the calendar
Next to my birthday
And every Year
I grow heavy
I sleep less
I see shadows of people
And hear veterans crying

It’s difficult
For me
To remember
Anything else
All I know
Is what you gave us

But
I remember When – everything
All the paths
plans
roads
skies
seas
The past and
The present
Under
The shadow of planes
With the echo
Of collapsing …
Changed.

With faces hollowed out
Wearing our city
We rose
Forever changed
I remember
That.
Forever.

IMG_4704.JPG

’42

IMG_4560.JPG

IMG_4567.JPG
The empty faces leaving
empty rooms
The empty space
between me and you.
you could see
On the way down
how our pieces hit the ground….
Listen for the echo
Take what you can

We are older
Colder
Voiceless
But filled with opinion
As the lines are drawn
the gods make ready
Our blood will spill
It is always all for the price
Have you no loved ones
In exchange for you…

I write in my notes…
Watching the day turn grey
I couldn’t tell you
How it all began
It was slow
And then all at once

my Bella
My love
she goes down
Dressed in grey
With a paper flower
In her hair
For all the children
She digs graves
To fill with shadows
Of what was once instead
Vivre pour soi
ou exister pour les ?

I think these things …
Angry things …
Screaming out
Like the lunatic
They think I am
They can meet my fucking faces …
But when I look across
I hear the sirens
I see the others standing
Blood filling the street
Their faces empty
Their eyes are empty ..
Void…draped with grey
I move my body
Everything is so heavy
sirens…
louder …
Snow falling …
No
human ash …
As I move my feet towards
Her…digging …she looks up at me
Say my name
I’m not a number
I’m not a condition
Say my name
I’m this blood in the street
When you come for me
I’m this ash in your hands
I’m these chains on the walls
Say my name.
I’m this body
Weighing me down…
I’m this moment
But not this grey
I’m still human.

These precious

I met god
When I threw
Religion away
He just shook his head
Silently

I ran into death
In the hallway
rubbing the back of his neck
Just standing still
Whispering ….
In every tongue
With his cold steel eyes
And his long thin hands
He didn’t see me
He looked right through…
Talking to himself…
When I asked him why…
He said “these times are dangerous
These days are cold…
And it’s always children …
It’s always children.”

I just stood there thinking
As he faded away…

I found love
When I stopped trying
I found life
When I finally had enough
I found Jesus
When I got off the cross
I found America
When I saw her fall

I saw you there
When I realized
We’re uncommon
We’re unique
We are unlike anything

We don’t have a definition
For this…earthquake

But

I found
In history
Our only enemy
Comes from inside
Inside our minds
And the pages
And the streets
With blood and language
intentions are defined
And lady liberty
With Mother Earth
Still weeps
With intentions
Clear
Be more of yourself
Be more uncommon
Be strong
And of courage
Don’t give up the dream.

It’s this earthquake
It’s these precious
It’s this page
I found…

IMG_4363.PNG

Language

You say
“It’s just words”
But I look…
And I see
Things like
“L’odeur de l’autre pour échapper à l’érosion du temps.”
Etched inside old books
(the smell of the other
To avoid the erosion of time)

I see
Napoleon
Noticing the absence
Of certain words
Regarding divinity
In Laplace’s
Book of astronomy
I see
Laplace, turning
And saying
“Sire,I had no need of that hypothesis.”

It’s Einstein
Publishing
Words
That gave a solution
To the conundrum
That was the orbiting
Pattern of the planets

It’s Le Verrier,
Mathematically
Predicting
The location
Of
Neptune

Words
Moved Patton’s men
To be able to
Kill civilians
It’s
Gods and generals
It’s language
It’s
Pieces,
Pieces of us

To you it’s just
Words
But to me
It’s my very existence
I’m careful
I save them
I use them
Pouring myself out
They’re everything
And nothing
If only
Words.

20140717-222837-80917993.jpg