The one about cats and dogs

Francis: Hit me with the lasagnas.
Simon: I call breadstix!

If you want to really know the difference between a cat and a dog. Adopt both.

Just close your eyes and get in there.

What’s the worst that could happen. It’s not like they’re going to be different… and if they are? It’s not going to be a big deal.

I’m lucky, France is very much like a dog. He wrestled with Simon, he lays around a lot…when it was just me and him for a few months, he was there every day. Checking on me to make sure I was still employed so I could buy him snacks

But there are differences,

When I go to bed

Simon is usually already asleep.

Under his blanket, and sheet, with his pillow, because he’s lame and spoiled.

France stops and looks in the door, I tell him goodnight, call him, he just sits there, I give up and say, “good night bud, let’s go to bed, or don’t, I don’t care, you’re a cat, do what you want.”

30 minutes later. When I’m drifting off to sleep? He jumps on the bed, “ I have decided! To ask about your day.”

Later, around 3 am he starts his olympics…jumping from the corners of the bed and launching into oblivion.

I get up around this time every day…Simon? He doesn’t start his day until 10:30 am every day. He doesn’t even say good bye anymore.

So there are big, tiny little differences.

Simons favourite food is sandwiches

Francis is convinced he enjoys coffee and alcohol. He’s probably a smoker too. But he’d never admit it to me.

Adopt a cat, adopt a dog. They’re good for you. You can walk one and stay healthy, outside.

While the other regularly criticises you on all the things you’re most sensitive about, which keeps your ego in check.

It’s a pretty good arrangement, Simon is down for whatever is the mood. Naps, movies, guitar, reading, walks.

Francis is very selective. He watches the X Files and documentaries.

Simon lives for meeting people and friends. He forgets no one.

Francis is selective, again reminding us that if you’ve met a cat and still don’t understand consent, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Will they help you write?

That remains to be seen.

Simon: Wait! you’re a writer?

Francis: I’ve never seen you write!

Ethan: I have a website

Francis: I thought that was just a really sad inspirational essays thing. (Waves paws) I didn’t know it was permanent.

Beagle in the City #282

Francis: ugh I knew this would happen. You lost your job didn’t you?

Ethan: No, I’m on vacation.

Francis: So I still get snax?

Ethan: Yeah, you still get snax.

Francis: What are you going to do on vacation?

Ethan: I’m going to look at self publishing. You know , I was hoping I guess, that some publisher would notice my blog and publish that, but I’m just going to go ahead and start taking the initiative.

Francis: (coughs) ugh…I mean I don’t know to tell you this…but sure…your inspirational poetry is kind of really dark and heavy…I’m sure someone will buy it.

Ethan: Ooof. Hey, look who shared my post on Instagram…

Francis: Oh Wait…don’t tell me…Shakespeare?

Ethan: I’m never talking to you again.

2020 #34

Hey mister writer

Write a page for me

Tell me about these days

I have no words left to play

Her eyes leave me stumbling

Cut right through me

All I feel is hunger

We’re all just beggars in the street

Left wanting

And our lists are growing

But I see the sunset through the trees

I think I would be alright

With just one more drink tonight

If I could hear her laugh

And not to cry

If I could see those eyes

And open up my heart

Far past the smoke inside my mind

for this, her dagger…

Hey mister writer

Write a page for me

I’m left caught inside a muse

I’ll catch up to you

All I have is this hunger

The world is in its slumber

Maybe tomorrow will be kind ….

To the muse

To you

We will all have somewhere to go

In the sunset of my mind

The words will all align

And I’ll be there with you

Beagle in the City #277

Dear doggie journal

Spare tires are GREAT.

Dad says we probably ran off the road last night because of the Dinosaurs!

It was OK though. He grabbed me and kept me from falling out the open window.

Dad showed me how the wheel bent when we hit that persons driveway…

My dad is the greatest. I knew he had everything under control. So when someone stopped to say hello, I went and told them “we’ve got this.” Just like dad always says… he says “it’s ok, I’ve got this. Everything is under control.” Real calm like that. It makes me feel better and it must have made them feel better too. Because then they left.

After that, dad asked me to sit in the car and let him know if I saw any mountain lions or bears. He kept asking for a Tea Bar. But I didn’t see any tea in the car so I just waited.

Today, dad says, we are going to go get a REAL jack and a Tea…T Bar and Flash Light.

Beagle in the City #277 pt 2

We’re all dads here…

Simon: Roll the window down dad. Now, punch it!

Ethan: it’s dark and I can’t see great, so I’m probably not gonna do that. Also, this is the side of the mountain. Dang son!

(We get ran off the road. Hissing begins)

Ethan: (grabs Simon to keep him from falling out the window)

Simon: We’re all gonna die!

Ethan: it’s ok, I’ve got this.

Simon: was that dinosaurs!

Ethan: yes, yes it was, they probably tried to pick up the car.

Simon: Gee dad, the car is making a flub flub sound.

Ethan: That’s the sound of a flat tire.

Simon: I thought ties were already flat.

Ethan: Hey it’s not bad. I’ve got to make a phone call. See how this wheel is bent and the tire is flat.

Simon: Someone is stopping. I’ll go check.

Ethan: Hey I barely have reception. I’ve got to call some folks and see if I have my flash light and jack in the other car.

Simon: It’s ok dad. I told them you’ve got this so we’re OK.

Ethan: ….you did what?

Simon: ….

Ethan: You know what, we’re on the side of the mountain. How about you sit in the car and let me know if you see any bears or mountain lions.

Simon: Whoa…yeah…I can do that.

Beagle in the City #272

Simon: …I’m just saying I don’t think it was a dino-sore…but I did hear something…
Ethan: Nah man, I saw one the other night…jagged teeth…hopped around in the bushes…
Simon: whaaaa????
I know, I’ll ask Francis. He never lies.
Ethan: now for the important thing…you want a sammich?
Simon: Sandwiches!

Dino-sores

Whaaaa?
Sandwiches!

Beagle in the City #270

Ethan: Ok boys are you ready?
Francis: what is THIS! What are we doing?
Simon: No dad. Not again. I’m not helping again.
Ethan: someone has to read the instructions. Who’s my helper?
Simon: I don’t think you’ve learned your lessons from the other two beds we put together…you’re a writer, you should just leave your bed in the floor.
Francis: according to the instructions and your comprehension…frustration…you’re a Virgo…this will take you a decade.

Ethan: Yeah, but, this time, will be different…

Francis: I don’t know how to tell you this…but we don’t think so.

Bleeding ink #1,448

Talk about

Your doomesday state of mind

All the colour from the sunrise

Fades…

Worn through

Bleached out

I’m cut open

Like the emptiness inside of this room

——-

She says

Tell me again

How I’m too much

And never enough

And

The way we landed

From sky high

To these trenches

——-

They said we would always have ….

And they said

Even gods and angels

——

The hurricane is coming

How hungry will you be

Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of stew

Jacob wrestled God until morning

——-

It feels like a 100 lb anvil in the center of my chest

I keep looking for truth

Keep looking for you

But all I see

Is these rains

These days

This hurricane