“We’re just the same…you’re just too sad to see it…but I’m in you…”
“All of these people, you try to give meaning to…they’ll leave you…because I can give them immediate gratification…all you have is expectations. People are selfish. You’re selfish. In your vanities. In the fact that you believe you’re alone. And that you’re somehow, different.”
I remember seeing the shoes of a politician walk across the platform.
The devil smiled… and said the real show was about to begin.
Simon: Bad news dad. I’ve decided I’m not talking to you. Ethan: Oh really? Simon: Yah, your polls are dropping. It doesn’t look good. Ethan: Dang, and I was going to make sandwiches too… Simon: I mean, I still have to eat. But I’m still not talking to you. Until I get what I want. Ethan: What do you want ? Simon: Hold on…I have to ask Francis, I can’t remember. Francis: Enjoy your SADwiches….We’re voting you out of here. Ethan: That’s the last time I leave NPR on the radio for you guys…
It’s always really difficult for me to write about my disease.
However, I have noticed a lot of people asking a lot of questions around the inter webs and nets.
And like anything, it’s easier to write a grocery list when you’re hungry, or a love poem when you’re in the passions of desire. Or a country song, when you’re, anything else; Your cat died, your truck was repo-d and your lover left you for whoever did your taxes…
It’s generally easier to write about Crohn’s disease when I’m having a flare up.
Which brings us here. To my bathroom… look around, I’m in the tub. Soaking. Listening to Bob Dylan.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease 13 years ago…
This is what a Crohns flare looks like …. It twists in the gums like a knife It blisters your lips It stabs in the gut like hot steel Your joints ache and pop You’re exhausted You can’t eat certain foods that other people can Your “healthy” Looks very different. You present well, because this is invisible. Most mornings you’re nauseous … Gut issues affects your brain. So you fight depression and anxiety… I’ve had Crohn’s disease for 13 years… It is different because it’s inflammation throughout your body and gut… And it affects all layers of your gut tissue… You still get up You still go to work You do the work You do the work. Not everyone can But I’m glad I can. This is day three of a flare up This is what it looks like. It’s going to be different for everyone. But if you pay attention and communicate with your people and your healthcare professionals…because they can’t read minds…you can manage this disease. It is a disease. But it doesn’t have to define you or overwhelm you. Let the courage to continue define you. Even in the bad days.