Do you remember the house
On the mountain?
I’ve explored a planet
It reminds me of that solitude
……..
Look at how many apps we have
To distract us
To keep us busy
——-
I was never there
Not really
I was never with you
——-
If I were with you
Now
——
If, huh, I know that sounds like it’s too late ….
——
You’re like these stars and these moons
You’re my moon and all my stars
I couldn’t take my eyes off you….
…….
-E
It’s said
That Jupiter
Shields earth from asteroids
Without ever blocking it with its shadow ….
Think about that kind of love and rising…
To love like that…
And never make a big deal about it …
But I will love you …
And we will talk about everything and nothing
And I will number the stars in your skin
I will trace the scars
From your unspoken battles
And I will thank you
Without words
But with my lips
Until we eclipse
Until every star
Has fell from every sky
That’s how we will rise
-regardingsamuel.com
We were sleepwalking
Passing each other
Like two ghosts haunting the same
House
New bedclothes
New furnishings
Plates
But no appetite
No desire
——
2020 on the forecast
Nothing we planned came to pass
We are frightened
By nothing
Flattened by morning
——
What is appetite?
Craving
Look me in the eye
Your skin
Your sin
Look me in the eyes
You’ll see my poetry
Waiting all night
To see you
It’s not masked by this year
It’s brought back
To the base value
The foundation
Remove the complexities
The trivial
——
Appetites
Cravings
Passions
Your skin
Your lips
We don’t have to move
Through time
Waiting
For right moments
Perfect places
They don’t exist
Our bodies moving together
There are still some things
We can say
Without speaking
-regardingsamuel.com
Where does the sun Go to rest? It’s mid July And already Winter…
y a-t-il un mot
pour le souffle entre chaque baiser
(is there a word
for the breath between each kiss)
it’s an ocean of stars
Inside that moment
neige en juillet
(Snow in July)
Your eyes
This sky
Everything is fleeting
Here
There
Gone
But you
Me
We know these things
And
Every moment fleeting
Is eternal
We’re present
taste the fruit
The wine
Is there a word?
For that?
It’s unspoken
Only felt
In every embrace
Every kiss
Every time our hands touch
how sweet your eyes are
how slow the break is
the thrill
the flame
inside that kiss
They say the world is changing in terrible ways
but I can still feel you in my arms, I can still taste your lips, your skin ... your fire.
There’s all these voices
I look around the room
I close my eyes
Some raise a glass
Expect me to just hate women
My phone blows up
“Look at this.”
“Go to therapy.”
“Take 4 years.”
Everyone has an opinion
I watch the room
I spent all those years
Doing what I thought was best
Buying flowers
Writing letters
Making dinner
Dances in the kitchen
I still didn’t do everything right, I guess
It’s not one persons fault
I won’t complain
I’m not going to cry in my beer
I’ve seen that
Too too many times
I watch the room
I feel nothing
I feel nothing at all
That’s the worst part
I don’t hurt
I’m not angry
I cannot possibly drink enough
And I feel nothing at all
“You know what you should do? You should go sniff and hit everything you can.”
But I feel nothing at all…
Only the blues
There’s an isolation inside
And I know
There’s going to be a morning
When the sun will rise
And I will only write
About that deep blue
That is her eyes
Just give it time
Even the sea is calm
At the darkest of the night
And I try to think
But the words can’t be found
And I try to drink
But there’s never enough
So I watch the room
And accept this too
This feeling – Nothing
Hoping I don’t become some kind of
Bitter southerner
That’s all
I don’t want to be hung up
I don’t want to be bitter
They expect me to just hate
But have you ever
Talked for hours with a woman
Danced without hesitation
Read until the morning
With her hand in your hand
And her head on your chest
There’s a thousand other intimacies
She gives you before you’re in her bed
I know this will pass
This feeling nothing
Things that don’t suck
Realising
You can still make amazing dinners
But for yourself,
Champagne, The Rat Pack, steak…
Not having the dinner thrown in the trash…
Not having someone get up and just leave or go to bed after you make it
Ties, tie clips, waistcoats, fedoras, hardsole shoes…
New jeans…
A cigar dipped in bourbon
Hennessy
A classic sidecar recipe
Jazz
Asus chord
Guitar
Cheesecake
Buying yourself flowers every month instead of someone else
Writing letters
Thunderstorms
Pasta (always pasta)
Setting goals
Crushing goals
Walking your dog
Accepting that you were a good husband
And forgiving yourself for what you did in survival mode…
Watching the sunrise
I read somewhere that if a man cares about you…you won’t ever have to wonder how he feels…
He will remind you.
So I was thinking about you…
And I hope you are good
I hope your days are good
I hope you find the love
That is slow and deep
So deep that you can’t feel the bottom
I hope it’s the champagne kind of love…
I hope you are reminded daily
Even when he isn’t there
She said something about the honeymoon being over
It isn’t supposed to last
It’s a marriage after all…
But marriage is an island babe.
If you don’t bring it,
You won’t find it here…
So bring it
Bring the champagne
Bring the slow dances
Bring the starry eyes
Bring the ties
The lipstick
The records
Whatever it takes
To make it through
Bring that
How else will they know?
That they’re the only thing you see
Across the room?
-regardingsamuel.com
My dear,
My darling,
I’ve been carrying this weight…this image…of a future.
I always
Have a flare up when I feel something like this move through me…
Bobby Kennedy was assassinated on this June day 1968
I think it’s like James Baldwin said…
We easily forget how young everyone was then…
He met with Lorraine Hansberry and Baldwin in 1963
Kennedy was only 38.
Lorraine would of course die at the age of 34… and Kennedy would be assassinated just 5 years later at the age of 43.
The Kennedys were appalled at the living conditions of black Americans. They were young and changing their minds about things. But like James said, this was the cost of segregation, it was a Great Wall between us. You never REALLY got to know eachother.
And you didn’t feel that you had a place set for you at the table for the American dream. You were an opportunity a pawn but you were not really represented. If you rose up and talked like white men you were dangerous.
A friend of mine wrote me and reflected that same emotion. That she always pretended we were the same but she’s afraid we are really not.
It’s not a race issue
It’s an apathy issue
A distance
We don’t want to know or see or hear.
We want the horrors to stay over there.
We are all brothers and sisters
Lovers
But we are so comfortable I don’t know that we would even be moved anymore…
Maybe we really do struggle with a mental fear, while black Americans live in the reality. The reality that these horrors are daily events and just a step away.
Bobby believed
And he changed his mind
He moved in those directions.
Darling,
I’m going to be 31 this year
I’m thinking about the youthfulness of these people…
I’m thinking about their ability to hold ideas
I’m thinking about all of the people and the youth we have already lost…
I’m believing we have hope
This is home to all of us
And this is America
Hang in there.
We must face ourselves.
So we can love eternal.
