Writers Log #33

Origin unknown

It’s time to kill our demons

I know we are just our decisions

Our stories

Our faults

Our moments

But there ain’t no grave

can hold my body down

If you will

We’ve been playing

With the devil




I had one too many hangovers

And a three day flare up that almost sent me to the hospital

It’s still not over


I’m through

31 –

I’m not drinking in feb

And I’ll go from there

I’m going to start taking time off from work and actually be off rather than work other jobs…

I’m going to work out

I have a whole room I never use

I’m not mad at anyone

I haven’t lived the life you have

You can’t control people

But I’m tired of hating myself

Because I do

I hate myself

I hate everything I write

I hate that I care – even when I know how it’s going to end

I’ve always felt that I’m running out of time ….

I remember when my grandfather died …

I was standing in the trailer

Thinking about how my mother lost her father …

And when my father died

I was thinking about how everyone else must have felt…

I’ve never really considered myself …

I’m just gathering storms and rivers

Placing them in my toolbox for later…but I’m through. I have to build. I have to keep moving forward…my life has to move forward. Whether I hate myself or not. We don’t get what we deserve, we get what we got. It’s up to us to build.

What else is there?

The Astronaut’s wife #2

Origin unknown

Our galaxy died
When our sun died
Everything froze
And then
The comets came
And earth
Well we lost her

Space is empty
We can still
Out of the old Galaxy
It’s called Google now
It’s just an encyclopedia
Of knowledge floating in space

I can spend hours sifting through it
When I was younger
I would have to be forced
To do anything else
I would stay in the library
And search away

Log 2055 Juin 17th
Day (456)

Space is cold, K
There’s nothing to hold
There’s no human touch
There’s no you
Burying your face in my neck
In the morning
There’s no you
Laughing at my clumsiness
There’s no you
To hold
Space is empty
I will always come back to you

You gave me a three year mission
To explore life
In this new galaxy
To seek out
Like our ancestors did before us
I marvel at the vastness of space
And the question of life…
I am captain of
And I feel like I am falling behind
I miss you
I worry
That I am forgetting
How to be human
Trapped in this vessel