Living

I’ve lived just long enough
To know
There is so much
I don’t know,
I’m my own worst critic.
——
There was a community excited
For a new grocery store
Because now they can get new apartments
And new businesses
won’t have to walk as far
Or drive as far
So they have, suddenly, on the horizon
More time and better opportunities in five years than someone minutes or hours away…
This is perspective…
Competition isn’t a bad thing …
Think of your customers, your employees as people,
families you’ve personally impacted in some way….
I’ve been humbled and honored by understanding
By
living and losing and winning.
——
I know we can hurt deeply,
we can change in an instant,
For better or worse –
We are not saints
Or even fallen angels
We are creations
We are weather and seasons
We can become what we dream of or what we hate …
I’ve returned to this southern soil
And I’ve prayed
For it to do what it must
To root the soul
In this heart of flesh…
To ease these bones that shake …
How we treat those around us,
How we grow…
We are restless,
Inside these minds like magnets
Inside cages…

—-

I knew a girl,
She refused to let Love die, she boxed her lover with gloves and a mouth piece
And demanded the truth
Always the truth…
anything less
Anything trivial was left in the dust ….
——-
I’ve lived just long enough …
To know…
They will tell you
You have endless opportunity
For lovers and careers and cities and dreams …
Well,
You do,
But there is a thing called time
And it is always running
It is always clearing the house
while you sleep …
And they will tell you it is an illusion
But when it’s gone it’s gone …
I used to beg for things and people to see me or let me love them…
I don’t do that anymore
If they can’t be here
I thank them
I just let things go
I have to keep moving forward…
If you find one who sees you, pushes you and makes you better,
If they care for you and demand the truth from you…
If you can nurture eachother
And shelter eachother
If you can love deeply
And know how much is on the line…
Really…really on the line ….
To love deeply
To hurt deeply
To pay attention ….
——
I want to
love in a way that you understand
To listen
To build
To protect
To shelter
To not see just potential or an idea
But to really see you
Really be here with you
I want to love you better
——-
I want to live better
I want to
Not take this lightly
We are here
We are here
And this is our responsibility
To ourselves
We are here
And we are living
And we have lived just long enough
To know
we can change in an instant,
For better or worse
But I will love you
Better
I will protect you
Better
I will shelter
And I will keep
And I will
Hold deeply
And love in a way you can understand
So you know….

We are here
We are here
And we are living

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Caves

Photo by Ethan Bethune

Maybe our Hearts
are like caves
With burdens of their own
Unique
Beneath the earths crust
And tho
Sometimes they give in
Like Samson pushing the pillars down
they still hold, where it matters most…
And
Our hearts like caves
Still have rooms
To discover
Still have new ways
Waiting to be mapped
You are still you
You are still new
You are still undiscovered
Even after all this time
-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Ache in the Art

There’s a deep ache in the art…
There’s a place you can go
Where nobody knows
How the love you held
Could
So easily be
ashed from a cigarette …
we move from mountains to valleys
So easily used to the news
Are we surviving ?
Or are we just numb from trying …
There’s a dream I keep remembering
Where we follow the shadows down,
we keep creating
Lines across paper
Making our own way …
The sun keeps on setting…
Blood in the water
Says I don’t have much time…
I still have the scars
From all of those nights…
There’s just enough room
To build a new line
word after word …
Chasing some kind of Immortality
a shade of sky
There’s some kind of pain
Some kind of rain …
I’m not looking for anything
But my own peace of mind …
My own solitude
I think I remember
But I soon forget
Wherever we’re going
We have to leave behind …

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

@adamchasefields 📷

Get gone

Come on back
To the outside of town
Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down …
Get gone now, past the interstate
The city lights
The on ramp
The mile marker
My hometown
My big mistake
God only knows
We’ve been working hard
Forever now…
Sinful as they come
Can I lay down with you,
I don’t have time
To carry all this hate
Got to lay it down
Got to lay it down
Got to get gone now
Got to get away …
——
We’ve got to lay it down
We’ve got to drive it out
Past the interstate
Further on out
Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down…

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Francis Cash #29

Ethan: How are you feeling today boys? You want to do stuff today or just be lazy?
Francis: I’m feeling kind of snackish…maybe the porch.
Ethan: The other day I asked you and you didn’t want to do ANYTHING.
Francis: Well you always want to go cave diving or bike jumping or book stores! Climb mountainy mountains!
Ethan: I asked if you wanted to go to the park…
Francis: Oh…wheely? Wows…I don’t ‘member that…

Crucible

CRUCIBLE
——-
To have a heart
That beats
That makes us heavy
That makes us human
I saw a nurse
Her eyes were glazed
Her face numb
“Is it really this bad?”
I asked
“It’s worse…”
She stared ahead as if she was a soldier there again, in battle…
“It was one thing when we were traveling and dealing with it in New York or somewhere else…but now it’s here…everyday. That worst fear…it’s happening.”

Her shoulders and body ached and stiff
From daily, over a year, constantly trying to go against this storm that now covered our maps like red during election time…

It’s easy
To get caught up in a movement and lose your head.
I don’t have to tell you how bad it is
We all have lost
Someone
By now
We all have lost
And are losing
Parts of ourselves
jaded
tired
burned out
numb
Living through science as it is worked out
So much like man works out salvation
Two steps forward
One step back
In the trenches
And we are losing time
Time that we will not get back…
Working through this
You see a shift
In how people want to work
Are willing to work
While my friends
My friends with PHDs and medical degrees
Are tired
And numb ….

“It’s too late…”
Almost ripped out of a Montgomery Alabama sermon on a Sunday
“It’s too late…”
We work out this struggle with time
With history with ourselves
While living in it
And my heart aches
For mother’s and fathers
For husbands and workers
For small businesses
For our communities
For our children
For the nurse
Who is the only thing between us and god…
For the artist who doesn’t know if it’s even worth it anymore …

If you can keep your head
And stand still
And use the truth that is in you
While all that is around you falls
Create
Create
Build
This is when we build
In the trenches
In the rain
In the storm
While all around us falls
And you are tired
And disillusioned
When your faith is at its crucible
This is when you stand
You observe
You face life
Its pain and its loss
Its joy and its mornings
And you build

To create a space
For all that we’ve loved and lost
To hold in memory
To not get caught in a quick moment
Some new movement
Politics
And agendas
To understand
And know
There is no quick fix in life for anything
There is only consistency
And for this
We stand every morning
Against that storm
And we begin again
Though we are torn
And worn
And stretched
Our eyes look forward
Our heart
That beats
That makes us heavy
That makes us human ….

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

A poem for a Virgo Sun, Gemini Moon.

A poem for a Virgo Sun, Gemini Moon.
———-
You do not have to hold up the whole world entire,
Go make your bed,
Clean your flat,
Do your laundry,
Start here…
——
What does Love need to survive the day?
What does hearts like ours need to survive the day?
You do not need to hold up the world entire…
Start here…
Start here…
Start here…
To survive the day…

-E
Regardingsamuel.com