(I honestly don’t know where this photo originated from)

I love this time of year. 

The leaves are changing. You get flavored coffee creamer from now until Christmas. Hot chocolate even tastes better. Especially if you mix it with your coffee. 

Movies are better. Nora Ephron films especially. 

I don’t know,it’s just a good time of year. 

I was talking with a woman from …Florida I think…and she was telling me she moved here specifically for the leaves. 

“We don’t get that there. Yeah we have the beach. But we don’t get sweater weather or snow or the colours. The beach is great for vacation but not for a lifetime.So my husband and I moved. And then I found Mayfield Ice Cream and antique stores and retirement is where it’s at let me tell you.”

She said something like that.

But anyway 

I can tell you 

We (L and I ) went to the Christmas Place 


It’s a magical place where Christmas  is all year ’round. It smells like Christmas. It looks like Christmas. There are elves. There’s music. It’s phenomal. Were I a small child I would be asking for the adoption papers. “I want to be an elf”  I would say. 

And no one could change my mind. 

Because I wouldn’t let them. 

I used to believe in Santa. 

Like I used to believe those ring tones we recorded off the radio for our flip phones would last forever. 

But then  IPhone happened. 

So I used to believe in all of that until I was like 7 but hey,I still get excited. 

  You can always count on recipes to be a thing this time of year.
People give me recipes now.

Which is crazy. 

Because they actually make sense to me now. 

I used to burn Pop corn. 

I remember setting jiffy pop on fire 

With real flames 

Because I forgot about the card board. 

The other day I cooked lamb 

And made salad and the dressing for it. 

So Fall. 

And movies 

And food 

And holidays 

It’s about the stories 

I love the stories. 

People will tell you things.Because they love/hate their families. And they Love/hate holidays. And everyone loves to talk about themselves. Science tells us this.we love it more than we love food and money. 

I personally like money. And food?…meh…well I watched a lot of Hannibal …and I’m taking my time  because it only lasts 3 seasons. But I’m all about desserts and champagne.
I personally hope it snows a lot this year. So long as we are inside with power and food and Simon our dog.

So hello October, get ready for the holidays. 


Leave room 

To scare yourself a little. 

A little nightmare 

A little wine 

A little 

House on Haunted Hill 

(Vincent Price edition) 

Goes a long way 



an open letter to nora ephron 


 “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” -Nora Ephron

If I could have lunch with anyone 

It would be you 

That’s a little odd 

Mostly because I am in fact a man

And I should probably be more interested in like,I don’t know,Stalin,Lenin,Hitler,Reagan,Monroe…Carl Sagan…maybe that transformer…what was his name?? Optimus …atticuss…prime?  

But anyhow 

You wrote something once 

About how as we age 

We may consider ourselves one thing 

Today ….and five years from now 

Say…”hey,I’m not that.I’m this.” And that that was ok.

As I get older…I think I would rather laugh…

You’re probably the only person who 

Could write about being a journalist in the 60s and going to an all women’s prestigious college.

About emails …and internet…junk mail..and waste paper baskets…

About growing old….and death.

How Ayne Rand kind of seemed stuck on herself and her own empire ….

Christmas was fine as far as wrapping paper…but the people and all the hype on religion and it’s true meaning was getting really old…you’d rather have a drink instead.

As far as drinks…you had a lot to say…being a wallflower at the orgy…

Freaking out when someone died 

They were the glue  of holiday dinners… And now someone else had to put them together…

In essence 

It’s pretty great what you did 

For art 

And for journalism 

Not just for feminism 

But for women 

And our sisters and daughters 

I guess you wrote some pretty great films as well…even though you didn’t believe in fairy tales 

Which makes you even more impressive.

I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to say …

I guess that right now 

As opposed to …I don’t know …three or seven years ago…

If I could have lunch with anyone 

It would be one Nora Ephron 

And that I hope if my writing transcends any space of time Or barriers …it does it in your grace and style. 



 (Michael Rougier. Tokyo, Japan. 1964)

it’s your life 

Say the things 

You have to say

Someone paved that way 

But no one else has your voice 

She said 

How great it is 

That in seven years 

Her cells will have remade themselves 

And she’s going to have a body 

That you never touched ….

She’s tired of waiting on tomorrow 

She’s here for today 

And the copy writers 

And the cigarettes 

And stories about fashion 

And the wre-writes 

And the has beens 

The Kennedy’s 

On the 25th floor …

She’s breaking out of the office 

She’s breaking out on her own

It’s your life 

Don’t let anything 

Hold your voice  inside 

she’s out to make trouble 

Mostly for women 

But my god will she be loved by men

The Trinity Of Cool

I was talking with a Writer friend
And mentioned William Shatner
When she said “hey my grandparents” or something like that “live beside him !”
Now let me elaborate what this means to me ….
Because I said
you lie!
But thought
my god how do I get there!
You see you need to understand
William Shatner
is like up there with Ronald Reagan and Han Solo
Same bar

They are
the trinity of cool
Were I living beside William Shatner
I can guarantee you only
Two scenarios
The first: I would be the crazy obsessed neighbour of your nightmares
The second: I just stand there staring into your yard in disbelief ….
There is NO THIRD scenario
Only these

I can’t explain why these are the trinity
They just are
If you don’t know
Well,obviously you’re a moron
It’s Han Solo
Ronald Reagan
William Shatner

It’s weird I get that
When I reference
Nora Ephron
Or my obsession
With playing cards
And let’s be clear
I don’t play cards
I just have an obsession with cards
Like,I buy playing cards
And it’s weird I know
Because let’s be honest
Being a dude
I should know NOTHING about
Nora Ephron
And I should be playing cards
Here we are
She’s a badass feminest
Who’s essays split your gut with humor and leave you with her favourite recipe.
Like she doesn’t just talk about it
She actually gives it to you.

Cards look cool but give you a migraine
Which is unfortunate for me as a standard
Because I would seem like
The kind of guy you’d get a really cool recipe from
But no
If you stay at my place
It’s gonna be like
“Well,I hope you like toast and water”

And that’s the trinity
I can explain it about as well
As I can explain my childhood
Which means I throw stones of humour at it frequently
As if to make sense of it.