Simon: Heyyy dad! Murray Christmas!
Ethan: What did you do today?
Simon: I waited on you, like I always do.
Ethan: I’ve got to get you some presents…
Simon: I want a new blanket, some treats, a new maze toy, it’s obvious this is not a present tree.
Ethan: those stuffed reindeer are ornaments not toys.
Simon: This is why I love you. And also, I can’t remember.
Simon: I like this movie. This is my favourite movie of all movies.
Ethan: Homeward Bound?
Simon: I could do that. I could live in the wilderness.
Ethan: You mean like the time you ran off in the woods for 45 minutes?
Simon: I was gone for days,dad. Days.
Simon: Hack! Cough! Gag!
Simon: Ewww that’s disgusting.
(Rolls in it)
Ethan: What are you doing!!! Get up!!
Ethan: What is wrong with you?
Simon: I don’t know,dad. I’m not even two yet…
Ethan: Oh my god… well now it’s bath time…
Simon: Nooo! Why does this KEEP happening OVER and OVER!
Ethan: calm down crazy it’s been a week.
Ethan: Uhm yes, hello. This is Ethan. My dog,the idiot, Simon. He ate five Hershey kisses. Do I need to do anything?
Vet: Did he eat the wrappers?
Ethan: No. no, I don’t think he liked those.
Vet: Was it milk chocolate or dark?
Ethan: milk with almonds
Vet: (laughs) ok ok he should be ok. Just monitor him for a few hours, he might get a little sick to his stomach but he should be ok.
Ethan: Thank you.
Simon: Hey, dad, how about some more of those chocolates. Those are delicious.
Ethan: You- you – idiot
Simon: (under the table) It’s ok. You can just package them for me instead. Like a present.
Ethan: I’ll show you a present. You scared me half to death.
Simon: Seems a bit drastic but ok. (You can never be too agreeable when your human is emotional)
Simon: Guys. I need to tell you about this dream I had.
Ethan: Ok, I’m listening.
Simon: I dreamed I got walked!
Simon: Lately that has been a dream. . .
Ethan: What’re you doing?
Simon: Shhh…I’m checking FB for animal shelters.
Simon: Yeah,dad. Like the one I found you in. Saved from a life in a cage!!
Ethan: you weren’t in a cage…you w- wait a minute. I was living quite well before you.
Simon: How do you sleep at night.
Ethan: Well, it is easier since you keep my feet warm. You bed hog.
Simon: Aww so many are getting adopted. Now I can sleep tonight.
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Simon: Dad was late.
Ethan: I got stuck at work.
Simon: A likely story. Inexcusable!
Simon: But at least you’re here now!!