3am

3am
(I’m going to have to convert a room into a studio because with pets this is almost impossible)

3am
This is your hurt calling
—-
How many,many is the numeral infinity….
The notebooks you fill
To catch the oceans inside
——
But we still try
——
And you are
Silver and gold
——
Hearts still beating
On the butchers floor
——
Feel the stars take the hold
——
3am
This is your hurt calling
——
You live and you hold
Silver and gold
Stars and Infinity
Constantly grow
Let the earth take hold
Oceans
Oceans
——
You could never be held
Not with control
——
You deserve to be free
——
Free
——
3am

-Regardingsamuel.com
-E

-regardingsamuel.com

Language

We were sleepwalking

Passing each other

Like two ghosts haunting the same

House

New bedclothes

New furnishings

Plates

But no appetite

No desire

——

2020 on the forecast

Nothing we planned came to pass

We are frightened

By nothing

Flattened by morning

——

What is appetite?

Craving

Look me in the eye

Your skin

Your sin

Look me in the eyes

You’ll see my poetry

Waiting all night

To see you

It’s not masked by this year

It’s brought back

To the base value

The foundation

Remove the complexities

The trivial

——

Appetites

Cravings

Passions

Your skin

Your lips

We don’t have to move

Through time

Waiting

For right moments

Perfect places

They don’t exist

Our bodies moving together

There are still some things

We can say

Without speaking

-regardingsamuel.com

Bleeding Ink 1,604

There’s all these voices

I look around the room

I close my eyes

Some raise a glass

Expect me to just hate women

My phone blows up

“Look at this.”

“Go to therapy.”

“Take 4 years.”

Everyone has an opinion

I watch the room

I spent all those years

Doing what I thought was best

Buying flowers

Writing letters

Making dinner

Dances in the kitchen

I still didn’t do everything right, I guess

It’s not one persons fault

I won’t complain

I’m not going to cry in my beer

I’ve seen that

Too too many times

I watch the room

I feel nothing

I feel nothing at all

That’s the worst part

I don’t hurt

I’m not angry

I cannot possibly drink enough

And I feel nothing at all

“You know what you should do? You should go sniff and hit everything you can.”

But I feel nothing at all…

Only the blues

There’s an isolation inside

And I know

There’s going to be a morning

When the sun will rise

And I will only write

About that deep blue

That is her eyes

Just give it time

Even the sea is calm

At the darkest of the night

And I try to think

But the words can’t be found

And I try to drink

But there’s never enough

So I watch the room

And accept this too

This feeling – Nothing

Hoping I don’t become some kind of

Bitter southerner

That’s all

I don’t want to be hung up

I don’t want to be bitter

They expect me to just hate

But have you ever

Talked for hours with a woman

Danced without hesitation

Read until the morning

With her hand in your hand

And her head on your chest

There’s a thousand other intimacies

She gives you before you’re in her bed

I know this will pass

This feeling nothing

Things that don’t suck 2

Things that don’t suck

Realising

You can still make amazing dinners

But for yourself,

Champagne, The Rat Pack, steak…

Not having the dinner thrown in the trash…

Not having someone get up and just leave or go to bed after you make it

Ties, tie clips, waistcoats, fedoras, hardsole shoes…

New jeans…

A cigar dipped in bourbon

Hennessy

A classic sidecar recipe

Jazz

Asus chord

Guitar

Cheesecake

Buying yourself flowers every month instead of someone else

Writing letters

Thunderstorms

Pasta (always pasta)

Setting goals

Crushing goals

Walking your dog

Accepting that you were a good husband

And forgiving yourself for what you did in survival mode…

Watching the sunrise

Bleeding ink 1,519

I read somewhere that if a man cares about you…you won’t ever have to wonder how he feels…

He will remind you.

So I was thinking about you…

And I hope you are good

I hope your days are good

I hope you find the love

That is slow and deep

So deep that you can’t feel the bottom

I hope it’s the champagne kind of love…

I hope you are reminded daily

Even when he isn’t there

She said something about the honeymoon being over

It isn’t supposed to last

It’s a marriage after all…

But marriage is an island babe.

If you don’t bring it,

You won’t find it here…

So bring it

Bring the champagne

Bring the slow dances

Bring the starry eyes

Bring the ties

The lipstick

The records

Whatever it takes

To make it through

Bring that

How else will they know?

That they’re the only thing you see

Across the room?

-regardingsamuel.com

Yesterday

Hold those thoughts

That keep me away

While the lights

Echo my lonely fears

In the streets tonight

——-

They say the world

Keeps changing everyday

But I wake in the night

I feel the same

——-

Maybe we’re so much older

Maybe we’re so much younger

Maybe we’ve been here before

Pour me a drink

Don’t let me go

——

The summer is coming

These clouds won’t stay so grey

We can’t live out our hopes and dreams inside yesterday’s

Sketches from the heart of this wasteland

Oh where have

You been?

April your lips I have found

Your whispering voice

Echoes through the emptying streets

Of this town

Your shifting feet

Echoes through these trees

——-

And I saw

I saw it all fall

The world that we built

All that we had invested

Burned right in front of us

Is it enough

To keep us warm

When the winter comes?

How many ?

——

The Joker dances in the streets

The street worker moves to the internet

The trees let go of all that they are holding

The grass grows

And it doesn’t consider us

The ocean crashes in

Whether or not I’m there to perceive it

——

And I wonder

Whether

They build their guns

They build their ships

They scheme their games

Building us up

Just to cut us down

——

Will our blood flood the empty streets

Whether we hold our breath

And pray for the rain ….

Will you even remember my name

——-

Hurl your banners

Your worst fear

April

You’re here

Now tell me my worth

Tell me my name

I’ve tasted your lips

Now show me the cards

Tell me your name….

Tell me the prophecy

Tell me

Who sketches the heart of this wasteland

——-

And in the valley

In kitchen

In the mountains

In hospital bed

In the living room

The rich

And the fallen

The guilty

The innocent

April turns her face

And we all hide our tears from this place ….

Sobering Stone

She said,

I think

we all have decisions

We eventually regret

And I think,

the worst pain,

Is realising

You’ve become someone you love’s regret,

She said she could see it in his face where once there was love, and he was pouring the coffee down the sink, now there was only regret…

And

It’s a hard,

Hard fall from grace…

But it’s a rock solid sobering stone.

RBG

I wonder what the courtroom felt

When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg first appeared on the scene

This quiet

Non threatening little woman

Who, case by case

Continued returning

Representing men

And women

And explaining

That equality is better for everyone

there were

Over three thousand

Laws

On the books

Holding women down

Like a boot on the back of the neck

Or a hand against the chest

A man is the owner of his domaine and a woman

Is much like property

Men cannot be homemakers

Because that’s meant for women

Women can be fired for being pregnant

“She’s just lucky we allow her to be here at all …”

I know we are not what we were

But like so much analog static

We’ve rushed past it all

In the digital age

I knew a woman who got fired up every time

There was an election

And she would remind me

That when she was young and beautiful

She couldn’t vote

If her husband left her

He got everything

She was just property

If she was wealthy

When they got married

It became his

If he moved she had to go with him

I wonder if we recognize

We’re crossing over old bridges

Our hands are shaking

Over ghosts

And battles that have already been won

And

I’m sorry,

I’m sorry that there are always

Receipts for everything we’ve given you

I’m sorry that equality and your right to vote

Hasn’t been added to the constitution

They’re still holding the receipts

To legislations considering the refund….

Legislations can be repealed it can be altered …

And I’m sorry

That no matter how much we plan for a family

There are 25 men

Somewhere

Fist bumping

And making those decisions for us

I wonder if my arms are enough to quiet the echo

I wonder

If you still hear the laughter

And cutting twist of the knife

“Go back to where you belong

Shhhh stop overreacting

It will all pan out.”

Remember,

Progress is made

One step at a time

One battle at a time

One step forward, three steps back

We’ve been here before

We know how the punches are thrown

We’ve got the scars to prove it ….

Tag: poem

3am

Number the stars

Language

Bleeding Ink 1,604

Things that don’t suck 2

Bleeding ink 1,519

Yesterday

Sketches from the heart of this wasteland

Sobering Stone

RBG

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