2020 #10

This is us

Out of quarantine

This is us without arms

——

Honor your self

What’s really going on ?

It’s not even fall yet

What happens next?

We live in a political world

Get your food supply

Take care of yourself

Make good art

——-

Quiet yourself

Trust yourself

——

How is it

That we make it as a team

And get through this

We all are a community

We are all citizens

We rise and fall together

——-

Get your food supply

Bleeding ink #1,448

Talk about

Your doomesday state of mind

All the colour from the sunrise

Fades…

Worn through

Bleached out

I’m cut open

Like the emptiness inside of this room

——-

She says

Tell me again

How I’m too much

And never enough

And

The way we landed

From sky high

To these trenches

——-

They said we would always have ….

And they said

Even gods and angels

——

The hurricane is coming

How hungry will you be

Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of stew

Jacob wrestled God until morning

——-

It feels like a 100 lb anvil in the center of my chest

I keep looking for truth

Keep looking for you

But all I see

Is these rains

These days

This hurricane

2020 #8

Photo origin Ethan Bethune

Maybe we didn’t realize what we had.

We sat at the bar every weekend talking about the virus. It was this fog in the distance. Like a whale under water, all you could see was the blurred image.

D, would come in with her pro roe shirts and explain her newest tattoo, there across her ribs.

We became this community,

A, bought me a drink and would explain how she backpacked Europe in the ‘70s

Sure, age was just a number, but it was also a feeling she said. You’re as old as you feel, she looked over at a girl dancing;

Once you get a certain age or feeling, you’re invisible and that is so much worse than dying. Enjoy it, you only live once. she said.

We were all there.

Maybe we didn’t know what we had.

We worked all week.

We were relaxing.

And now we are different. We’ve grown, we’re older, softer, stronger, We’ve never been here before…

And I wonder what stories we will tell…

When we are all together again.

If we would be so present

We could all hear the others heartbeat.

This is us.

In these very small, extraordinary moments….

They flash by us

Becoming a year

A wrinkle on our skin

A grey hair

Part of us

Leaving it’s mark…

This is our lives.

Look Back

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

1. I know it hurts. I know it feels Overwhelming, right here, this year, that storm, this virus, your heart, past love, tomorrows horizon.

Look back

I remember the woods. The cold concrete floors. The bear. The deer. The mountain lion.

2. This is where I learned how to read.

3. Everyone has a childhood. Everyone has something they get over.

Remember you can remain solid and still grow, still change. You can move in and out from this. It’s a dance,

There’s room for you to grow into yourself. Light shines brighter in the dark.

Look back, see how far you’ve come. Only compare yourself to yourself.

It’s quiet, in the mornings…

I think about the time we danced in the kitchen, drinking coffee…

I think about all that I’ve seen

How everything is temporary,

Everything changes…

I’ve changed

We can’t go back

We’ve seen too much

Felt so much

We will never be the same

And that’s ok

We will never be right here again

Be gentle

Let yourself be here

Let yourself grow

Hard Times

Time is running away from reach

Your hands are shaking in your sleep

Your heart’s cold stone sober

Your eyes are barely open

———

Ring the bells

Let them know

——

I turned to the radio

For some relief

But all it did was yell at me

——-

Is everything broken

Hard times

In this time

Will we make it day by day

——

Do you see me

——

Do you hear me

——

There’s an unspoken understanding

You work until you die

——

There’s a whole lot of pain

There’s a whole lot of lonely

Am I empty

Or am I just sad

Did I misplace my soul

Instead of my keys ….

——

Let us sleep

——

Let us sleep

——

Is it too dark to die

Is it too hard to cry

Will we be buried

Will we see ?

I’ll be at my funeral

I’ve seen it in my dreams

I’m running out

Time out of mind

——-

Most of the time

I’m doing fine

But It feels like hard times

It feels like

This pain

But I don’t know what I would change it to, if I could,

it’s a fire tonight

It’s us

Right here

Right now

We will handle the rest

Little by little