This is us
Out of quarantine
This is us without arms
——
Honor your self
What’s really going on ?
It’s not even fall yet
What happens next?
We live in a political world
Get your food supply
Take care of yourself
Make good art
——-
Quiet yourself
Trust yourself
——
How is it
That we make it as a team
And get through this
We all are a community
We are all citizens
We rise and fall together
——-
Get your food supply
In a ditch
Up a cliff
It’s a weird feeling
——
You
Feel
Something is expected
But you don’t know
What it is…
——-
You see it all projected
But you can’t read the headlines
——
These days
——
Talk about
Your doomesday state of mind
All the colour from the sunrise
Fades…
Worn through
Bleached out
I’m cut open
Like the emptiness inside of this room
——-
She says
Tell me again
How I’m too much
And never enough
And
The way we landed
From sky high
To these trenches
——-
They said we would always have ….
And they said
Even gods and angels
——
The hurricane is coming
How hungry will you be
Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of stew
Jacob wrestled God until morning
——-
It feels like a 100 lb anvil in the center of my chest
I keep looking for truth
Keep looking for you
But all I see
Is these rains
These days
This hurricane
Maybe we didn’t realize what we had.
We sat at the bar every weekend talking about the virus. It was this fog in the distance. Like a whale under water, all you could see was the blurred image.
D, would come in with her pro roe shirts and explain her newest tattoo, there across her ribs.
We became this community,
A, bought me a drink and would explain how she backpacked Europe in the ‘70s
Sure, age was just a number, but it was also a feeling she said. You’re as old as you feel, she looked over at a girl dancing;
Once you get a certain age or feeling, you’re invisible and that is so much worse than dying. Enjoy it, you only live once. she said.
We were all there.
Maybe we didn’t know what we had.
We worked all week.
We were relaxing.
And now we are different. We’ve grown, we’re older, softer, stronger, We’ve never been here before…
And I wonder what stories we will tell…
When we are all together again.
If we would be so present
We could all hear the others heartbeat.
This is us.
In these very small, extraordinary moments….
They flash by us
Becoming a year
A wrinkle on our skin
A grey hair
Part of us
Leaving it’s mark…
This is our lives.
“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
1. I know it hurts. I know it feels Overwhelming, right here, this year, that storm, this virus, your heart, past love, tomorrows horizon.
Look back
I remember the woods. The cold concrete floors. The bear. The deer. The mountain lion.
2. This is where I learned how to read.
3. Everyone has a childhood. Everyone has something they get over.
Remember you can remain solid and still grow, still change. You can move in and out from this. It’s a dance,
There’s room for you to grow into yourself. Light shines brighter in the dark.
Look back, see how far you’ve come. Only compare yourself to yourself.
It’s quiet, in the mornings…
I think about the time we danced in the kitchen, drinking coffee…
I think about all that I’ve seen
How everything is temporary,
Everything changes…
I’ve changed
We can’t go back
We’ve seen too much
Felt so much
We will never be the same
And that’s ok
We will never be right here again
Be gentle
Let yourself be here
Let yourself grow
Time is running away from reach
Your hands are shaking in your sleep
Your heart’s cold stone sober
Your eyes are barely open
———
Ring the bells
Let them know
——
I turned to the radio
For some relief
But all it did was yell at me
——-
Is everything broken
Hard times
In this time
Will we make it day by day
——
Do you see me
——
Do you hear me
——
There’s an unspoken understanding
You work until you die
——
There’s a whole lot of pain
There’s a whole lot of lonely
Am I empty
Or am I just sad
Did I misplace my soul
Instead of my keys ….
——
Let us sleep
——
Let us sleep
——
Is it too dark to die
Is it too hard to cry
Will we be buried
Will we see ?
I’ll be at my funeral
I’ve seen it in my dreams
I’m running out
Time out of mind
——-
Most of the time
I’m doing fine
But It feels like hard times
It feels like
This pain
But I don’t know what I would change it to, if I could,
it’s a fire tonight
It’s us
Right here
Right now
We will handle the rest
Little by little
Death moved then
From house to house
Like shadow
In that space
Like the sun
Heating the atmosphere for the storm
——
It wasn’t like all of those stories
It wasn’t old
It wasn’t tired
——
It was faceless
It was whatever is less than silent
And
You were alone
And
You
were
afraid
