Beagle in the City #65

  
Simon: This isn’t going to look good on your polls, dad. You kind of look like a thermometer…

Ethan: it’s not as bad as it looks…

Simon: Can I touch it?

Ethan: Don’t touch it, agh!!

Simon: How did this happen again?

Ethan: We went to the beach while you were at grandmas. 

Simon: Wait a minute…whaaaat?

Ethan: Now smile…

Beagle in the City #25

  

Simon: …it’s not going to fit

Ethan: yes it will, you just have to twist it…like…this 

Simon: it won’t go in.

Ethan: …almost

Simon: If you have to force it, it’s too big. Just buy a new bath for the covers. A BIG one. Everyone can bathe together. 

Ethan: it’s a washing machine. 

Simon: what’s a washing machine? I was talking about the bath for the covers.

Ethan: I know; a washing machine. 

  
Simon: Sometimes I feel like you need subtitles…

Ethan: GOT IT, I WIN!! You owe me milk bones…

Beagle in The City #15

Ethan: Simon! 

Simon: Yes, dad? 

  
Ethan: I thought you were in your crate?

Simon: it’s not a crate dad. It’s my space, my spot my place. 

Ethan: I thought your place was your little bed thing.

Simon: No dad, that’s my chill cushion. 

  
Ethan: Well, it’s that time of week again. Only us writers and super chefs are awake this late. Unless, you’re secretly harboring a raving drug addiction….or a secret Online Affair…you can talk to me Simon. Always. 

Simon: What’re drugs and online

Ethan: Let’s cook! 

Simon: Wait dad. What are you making? Chicken pot pie?  Is that bread gluten free? 

Ethan: Oh, well, I don’t know….probably, they are really good about sending healthy stuff. I’m not even sure this chicken is even chicken, it probably died believing it was a peacock.

Simon: What’s a peacock,Is that like a squirrel?

Ethan: Well yeah, but the tail is covered with a glitter supernova….

  Simon: Where’s mom. I don’t believe your tail. I mean Tale. You smell of deception.  

 Ethan: Fine, I’ll show you a boring picture of a real Peacock. …the squirrel was better though….

Simon: I am a Beagle. You cannot get past me. 

Ethan: ohhh yeah. I forgot about that. Your ancestry. 

Simon: As still as a deer. An eagle. A wolf pack. 

 

Ethan: Does the wolf pack want a biscuit? 

Simon: Scones!!!

Ethan: where did you learn that?

Simon: learn what? 

Ethan: scones.

Simon: what’re scones?

Ethan: Biscuits….

Simon: Biscuits!!!! 

Ethan: face palms 

Simon: …. I like  those ….

 

cats and dogs

  
A long time ago…in a galaxy far far away…

Wait,that’s not the right beginning…at least this time,anyway. 

 We adopted a dog.  A canine. A ferocious beast.  

 A beagle mix. Simon. 

I was nervous but only in the beginning. Now it’s day three or five and I am good. 

But it’s because  I’ve always been a cat person. And cats are different than dogs. Mostly,because if you have a dog. You are a “dog owner.” If you have a cat…somewhere out in the animal kingdom…your cat is saying; “Well,I just got a person.It took me a few months…but I decided to commit.” 

You don’t own a cat… The cat does whatever it wants. You get affection and attention on its terms. Not yours. You don’t train a cat. The cat trains you. You put food out-maybe it eats it.It depends on what mood it’s in. 

But a dog. 

A dog is completely different. A dog is like a child. You have to take it out. You have to train it. You have to be consistent. A dog is like family.You have a foster family,you have to be approved. You have to spay and neuter. 

But 

Seriously. I never realized how many animals go into these shelters. It’s ridiculous. Some have almost a thousand a month. Spay and neuter your pets.And if you don’t have a pet but want one? adopt.

Simon is great. He takes his baths.Then digs up cat poop,takes some more baths.Runs himself to death. Sleeps on the sofa and in the bed. I tried to be more firm on the bed thing. But …. 

 
He doesn’t beg for anything. and he’s so smart. I couldn’t say no. 

So yeah. We have a dog. Simon. 

He sits. He understands “No” well,almost. He is just really fond of  L’s scrunchies and shoes….