30 for 30 (sand castles)

She tilts her head back

As if to ready a violin

Her hands made into fists

Punching her face

Her mouth foams

Blood runs

From chewing on her tongue and jaw

I have timed

Tornadoes

Storms as they pass over

Shop lifters

But this was the longest

Minutes of my life

The seconds carry the weight of hours

After the seizure passes

Like the eye of the storm

It takes half an hour for the cloud mass to break

And clarity to return

I have to repeat answers to questions asked every few minutes

Like fragments

Falling to the earth

Left behind

And she slurs her speech

And I am reminded

How much we take for granted

This idea that everything will be here tomorrow

Exactly as it is today

And I think

How quickly all the lamps expire

And how much of ourselves we put on hold

Betting for tomorrow

How much I didn’t write

Believing I would be

Could be

Better

Tomorrow

Life

Tears us apart

And takes away our talents

The people we love

We are so bold

So brass

So full of our youth

We believe

We have time

But the lamps

Are expiring

As I hold my wife

And she is sleeping

I think about

The rain against the window

The dry lightning

As

The sun is setting

We are not permanent

We are not forever

I think about the orchestra

Playing in rhythm

I think about the shows we’ve seen

The musicals

The theater

I think about

How quickly we are gone

Even stars burn out

Even phoenixes are reborn

Even the air is thin

Between the lightning

Everything

Everything

Everything

Expires

Even when denied

Time will prove

Right

As the spring leaves

Are swept away

In the street

This is all we have

All we are

– Ethan Bethune

Famous Last Words

There are some things we just won’t talk about,

It’s all in the last words

Of famous men

that’s what she would say

We are in the same room

But thousands of miles away

And what do we know

And how am I to know

The things you will never show

You’re always going away…

The papers say we won the war

But I feel as though

I lost her heart today

And all at once

I felt hollowed out

Just a lost soul

But I kept this mind

The things we’ll never know

The things you’ll never show

Can I blame you?

The blood stains the earth

The skies turn to overcast

And it’s all to shame

But one touch from her

Would end the pain

One word from her would

Send the rains

How could know?

I can’t read your mind?

We are worlds apart

I never thought I’d pack these bags

I never thought I’d be on this train

I never saw

The forecast for all the skies

There are some things

We just won’t talk about

And we spend our years

Thinking we are doing

Fine and we forget

We forget

How easy it is

To leave words unsaid

Worlds behind

with only our hearts

And

All our love

on the line

Simple Things

She dreams of little things

As she steps over the cracks in the street

And the whole wide world it seems

Is on the edge of a break down

This wet blanket of time

This overcast sky

It’s rotating now

I always whispered into the dark

It’s simple things

You take away with you

The notes on the napkin

The perfect slice of pie

And

There are certain shadows

That you just carry with you

As you go

The old man in line at the drug store

Remembers the Kennedy’s

I remember 9/11

Someone asked me what it was like

And I just looked at them

And I was sad

Because they don’t remember

The world before – the heaviness of now

MMBOP

Surge
The original animated Batman from the 90’s

But now that I’m older I think a lot about that man in line at the drug store

And I realized everyday for him must be heavy as well

And those who lived through Nixon

Or the man who told me about D-Day …

Being a teenager

The pain in his eyes

Asking me how you’re supposed to come back from that

And I remember the pain in peoples eyes after the Tornados …

We all carry darkness

And we all live in this same room

We just see it from different corners

Lit by the same light

Different points of view….

Carry the simple things

Take them with you

It’s ok to believe again

Like you once did

Create again

A little at a time

This is an old pain

Older than time

And even the stars are quilted with shadows

It just takes courage

Just one step at a time

That’s how the light is made

Beagle in the City #238

Simon: I’m telling you one day they will answer and it will be awesome and you will regret everything.

Ethan: O.k. I’ll do it. But Dogue is not a thing.

Simon: Rock stars…

Simon: Now take some trash and throw it around.

Ethan:I’m going with a hard no on that one.

Simon: Trash is the best thing in the world , Dad.

Ashes

The piano was more difficult to play now, certain chords would go missing….

The same with photographs. Some faces were familiar…others were blackened with ash and she didn’t know them…

Some days she felt like everything was good. She really had a hold on things.

Other days, she would be given a journal

And expected to write…

But the pages were burning

The words were missing…

The safest place was the window on those days.

To just sit and look outside….

She could remember some things…

But it was all the new faces that frightened her.

The new town….

Other days she would work on her next detective novel…

But she always felt, trapped,inside a burning house

And couldn’t shake the feeling,time was running out.

But then, she had felt like this since her early twenties.

Now she was…she was…

Dust on Dust

(Bleeding ink )

Dust on dust

Summer starts in June and ends in Jan…

The longer you sit

and hope for a breeze

The more cigarettes you smoke

dehydrate a little more

Everyone loses their voice

eyes dry out

Doesn’t matter anyway

It was a dry county just yesterday

Popping allergy pills

And opioids

Just to get them to the well

The ditches along the railroad dyed from the mills

Now they’re long gone

The trains are stalled

Only the sign is left inside the bar

Where we all gather and talk about how it used to be

Some turned into apartments

Where my dog sits in the window

Looking out for me

It’s difficult for a stranger to remember

But these ghosts

Are all over this place

It took everything from our parents

And they say it will never be the same

They say there used to be standing ground

For 75k people

To play the music

But all of that left some time ago

Man

Sometimes

It feels just like

All of our youth

Gets

Spent living

All of our

Strength

Spent dying

What’s left

To dream with?

Or are we

Destined

To spend the next

Best years

Searching

For these answers why…

Don’t let them

Slip you by …

it feels like we all know someone

Who knows someone

Who has a story to tell

About the days gone by

Like a nervous system

Underneath the surface of these streets

We all have something we can finally talk about

But don’t let it get you down

Yeah

She plans on gettin out

She’s counting the days of the year

Until it gets her right

You can’t sit down and cry about it

You keep moving forward

A little at a time

Working on the change

Staying off the chain gang

That’s how you turn it all around

Yeah

These are our towns

These are hard times but at least they’re our times

-regardingsamuel.com

-ethan S bethune

Letters to a Nurse #20

All of her hair, it’s always been red and her lips, they’ve always been red. Her temper, her passion, has always been red. Her fists have always been made.

And I’m lost, when she lets her hair down. When our eyes meet, it feels just like coming home. Touch for touch, a new star being born,

Meet me in the night, morning comes too early, we haven’t got time to wait, we can walk through the fire, I feel like I’m forgetting parts of you my lips need to touch.

Will another year pass? How many hours are in a day? Everything burns blue when she is away…and it rains every day.

Everything in this house burns red when she is near.

-regardingsamuel.com