Restless hands

Out on the highway

Out there on the long way

Where the lights follow you close behind

There’s a bend in the road

Where only god knows

Where the lights go

—///

She appears

Where he turned his back on her way back when…

Chased his restless flame

—///

Her tears turned to rain

Rain flowed into rivers

Rivers into oceans

And oceans never fill….

We are beaten by the crashing waves

Only god knows

How to understand

How to hold

These restless hands

——///

Father Time

Broke Mother Nature

And only God knows

How to understand ….

——///

There’s something about grace

There’s something about the contradiction of the heart and mind

And these

Restless hands

Out of mind

There’s a man

Going around

Passing out promises

Gold and silver too

But the success

Never reaches down this far

No,

They won’t follow you down

And every woman I know

Works harder than two men

And they love

And they bleed

And they sew up our needs

And like Cash said

“When the man comes around”

Well, they won’t follow you down

So we fight

And we survive

Even when our paychecks

Barely make it through

What else are we to do

The silver and gold

Doesn’t come down this far

But they pass it around

With promises too

But they won’t follow you down

—-///

And I

I can’t write

My head is filled with clouds

I try to sit

But I can’t breathe

I watch the colour in the trees

And I think

About the dumpster on the side of the road where we used to get shoes and we used to get books…

And I think

About time

I hope I’ve used mine

Well

I think about the old man

Who lived in a school bus

And had a teenager for a wife

Her eyes said she had escaped something worse

A sort of curse

But I was too young to understand

Now, I think as I try to write, what good am I? What good am I?

If we can’t listen

If we look away

What good am I

And what good have I done …

A clouded head is part of Crohn’s

Just like the ache in the bones

The shouting stomach

The anxiety and the depression

I write about it but I can’t talk about it

And you’ll never see it

I guess

We all are just stories in the end

And we want what we want

And we say it sets us apart

And we expect others to know

But part of us stays on the road

Because even we don’t know…

And all we have is time…

31

Maybe

The morning picks up the pieces

You cast away in the night

Stitches them together with wind and bone

Maybe you don’t get the life you first believed

When you were young

You won’t age another year at the stroke of midnight in someone’s arms

You’re just an alcoholic poet

And you’re on your own

And maybe I just can’t silence

All the words in my head

And my thoughts are filled to full

Maybe I feel alone in crowds

Maybe her blue eyes

They help me stand up

Maybe they catch the silver sunlight

Maybe she’s the queen of all I’ve seen

Maybe

I figured out we don’t live forever

Maybe there’s a ghost that follows me

Reminding me

Of the view from the grain of sand

The salt in the water

Where did these weights come from

Who built this home?

Who put this sadness here ?

There are notes I cannot play

There is grief here

Maybe we are the same

Maybe someone has something worse

Maybe it’s the friend that’s sick

“I think I’m sick. Maybe I have what you have…” he said. Recently he found out he has cancer…

Maybe it’s the constant pressure to be and provide and succeed

Maybe it’s knowing we are not permanent and I may not have enough time to be all that I wanted to be

Maybe the morning will pick up the pieces I cast away at night…

Everything changes so fast, we are not what we once was…I hope you know…some days you are not what you want to be

I hope you know,

I hope you

I hope

I hope

You know

Fires burn out

You never know what’s coming for you

Things end

Friends die

Loss hurts

And there is a pain

That doesn’t go away

And maybe I’m running from poverty

I’m running for my dream

Like some people run from gluten

And body fat

But in 3 minutes I will be 31

And I remember 3 minutes of tornadoes

I remember 3 minute seizures

I remember there are lifetimes

There are empires built on sand

Inside three minutes

—/

Maybe you’re never what you thought you’d be

But there is still morning

And no one owes you anything

So write to her

About her eyes and the morning

And her beauty

Because all of this ?

This is fleeting

And you won’t be here…

Fight it

Hold on

It will not change it a jot

You can not change what has been

Write letters

They are textured

They are sacred …

I tell myself to get up

I tell myself to be as I was

But I don’t know how

I don’t know how

Number the stars

It’s said
That Jupiter
Shields earth from asteroids
Without ever blocking it with its shadow ….
Think about that kind of love and rising…
To love like that…
And never make a big deal about it …
But I will love you …
And we will talk about everything and nothing
And I will number the stars in your skin
I will trace the scars
From your unspoken battles
And I will thank you
Without words
But with my lips
Until we eclipse
Until every star
Has fell from every sky
That’s how we will rise

-regardingsamuel.com

What’s your dream?
Your passion?
Where do you want to be?
What are you walking towards?
We tied ourselves up inside other people’s ideas
Look out at all the other faces in the room
If you don’t build your own

You will build one of theirs

What are you building ?

Are you just what you wanted?
Are you alright?
Do you dream at night?
Do the stars shout your name from the sky?
—-
I run for health
I write to kill
I kill to write
People say we’ve never been here before
I don’t have time to stop and compare
I’m going somewhere….
I was born
I was standing still
I wrote about the lonely
I wrote about living until our time is up is out
But I was there
I was putting pieces of my heart together
Alone
I’m just a broken vessel
But I’m strong
And here
Inside these walls
These streets
I found my people
We are made of love
They came to see me
They all know me
—-
We are born
Until we are born again
We all dream
Until we dream out loud
We all run…
Until time runs out….
—-
What is your passion?
What is your dream?

Stardust

You are not some
Force to be dealt with
You are flesh and bone
Stardust
I cannot lie
I have to stop
Just so I can look back
And
We will learn what it is to be human
Some days we’ll live
Some days we’ll laugh
Others we’ll cry

Sometimes I’m weak

Sometimes I’m strong

Others I just barely have enough


We will live to lose all the love we’ve held….


So I hope you understand
After our kiss and long good byes
I will always – always – look back
-Regardingsamuel.com

Origin unknown

Things that don’t suck 2

Things that don’t suck

Realising

You can still make amazing dinners

But for yourself,

Champagne, The Rat Pack, steak…

Not having the dinner thrown in the trash…

Not having someone get up and just leave or go to bed after you make it

Ties, tie clips, waistcoats, fedoras, hardsole shoes…

New jeans…

A cigar dipped in bourbon

Hennessy

A classic sidecar recipe

Jazz

Asus chord

Guitar

Cheesecake

Buying yourself flowers every month instead of someone else

Writing letters

Thunderstorms

Pasta (always pasta)

Setting goals

Crushing goals

Walking your dog

Accepting that you were a good husband

And forgiving yourself for what you did in survival mode…

Watching the sunrise

2020 #43

When I was younger

My neighbor planted these pear trees in his front yard…

They were attractive trees

The only problem was, every time the wind blew, they lost a limb or split down the middle.

I remember because that season we had tornadoes every Friday.

My dad had a cherry tree. He hated it. That same summer he tried cutting down.

It came back.

He tried pulling it up with his tractor.

But it came back.

Finally he cut it, and then burned it.

——

The night I had to go to the house and found my father had passed away…

I remember walking outside in the rain I looked over

And saw that the cherry tree was back…

I laughed, it had outlasted my dad.

——-

The pear trees looked better.

They didn’t take up space

And everyone loved them

But they were frail…

——-

I hope you’re like the cherry tree

I hope you’re resilient

I hope you fight tooth and nail for what you believe in… and for yourself

I hope you don’t give up what’s keeping you moving.

I want to be like that

For my health

For my life

For my art

Keep going

Take up space

Grow large

What else is there?

Bleeding ink 1,519

I read somewhere that if a man cares about you…you won’t ever have to wonder how he feels…

He will remind you.

So I was thinking about you…

And I hope you are good

I hope your days are good

I hope you find the love

That is slow and deep

So deep that you can’t feel the bottom

I hope it’s the champagne kind of love…

I hope you are reminded daily

Even when he isn’t there

She said something about the honeymoon being over

It isn’t supposed to last

It’s a marriage after all…

But marriage is an island babe.

If you don’t bring it,

You won’t find it here…

So bring it

Bring the champagne

Bring the slow dances

Bring the starry eyes

Bring the ties

The lipstick

The records

Whatever it takes

To make it through

Bring that

How else will they know?

That they’re the only thing you see

Across the room?

-regardingsamuel.com