Exist

I know, what voices cross the waters at Midnight

They keep reminding you

Of old versions of you

They’re there in the corner

———

My chest is flooded

My eyes are on fire

My throat is filled with coal

——-

Exist

Beyond what you were dreaming

All of your enemies already know ….

And these days

Are just a dry county

You’re waking up

———

I know what voices cross the waters

I know you know

But just so….

Keep existing

Keep believing

Keep walking

Your light won’t go out

Your soul is on fire

These are your days

Mute the noise

Photo origin unknown

Hold on

You’re waking up

Put your money where your mouth is

Can you even write a tune

Do you know what it is that you feel?

——

All the soldiers left the post

Ready or not

The new moon is out

The puppet is about to be real

Put your money where your mouth is

Do you know what it is that you bought

Do you do what they spell?

Do you even know what it is that you feel?

——

Hold on

Mute the noise

Main Street is closed

You’re waking up

Don’t be scared

You’re real

Exist above the mainstream

Thank you

For being here

You’re real

2020 #26

She’ll love you, with eyes so bright. You will realise your hunger and your curse. As you walk through this world.

Today they are burning down the streets. The changing of the guards is still incomplete…

And I know, I know, it’s easy once you’ve been burned, to turn your face to the cold and blame your long time family curse, and I know it hurts….

But look around dear, how many of us, really feel anything, anymore around here?

I loved you like the first, I loved you with my best…

She’ll love you, she’ll pull you in…out in the open fields…

You can’t box her in…

She’s anger, she’s fists, she’s fire, she’s all woman…but she breaks so easily…she’s scared of the reality of being…

She changed her mind

And disappeared like smoke

All you can do is hope

She felt your heart next to hers

Now let her go

Turn your face to the sun

And don’t you turn cold

Bleeding Ink #1,477

Some years ask questions

Some years ask for sacrifice

Hold on now, the truth is coming in

——-

Like the tide now,

Some water is deeper

Some hearts are stone

Sunlight is easy

When it’s on her face

Sometimes your city

Burns before your eyes

——-

Some years ask questions

There’s a kid with batteries

He’s playing Star Trek

Red on black

Black on gold

He doesn’t know he’s poor

He just knows he’s happy

When the sun goes down

———

I’ve carried this darkness

Since before my father died

I was there that night

I read his old letters

I cast his demons aside

Some questions get answered

Some you just have to lay down

———

I still see this darkness

I know it will take me

It’s just a matter of when

Some things I won’t understand

But we all are running out of time

I just keep laying words down

——-

They said they found him

With two shotgun shells

Some things are too too heavy

I stood there asking

Was it the darkness

Or was it his heart?

Sometimes you’re happy

And lady

When you smile….

Half of me is sun

Half of me is moon

I learned to live with this darkness

Some days are nightfall

Some days you just have to look for the light

——-

Some years….

Some years

Lady you’re a free girl now

You just keep walking

You’ll make it

A pocketful of questions

A handful of stones that you lay down….

2020#20

I will soon be 31

I’m not 24

25

I’m not what once was

But neither are you

——

I’m waking up to a new way

Same face

New day

——-

These days drag on

It’s just the way we move

In the night

Body to body

Hearts orbiting the sun

The heat in the night

The salt on your skin

Your lips

Hand on my heart

——

These days

They’ll cut you dry

Like stalks in October

They’ll leave you there

You miss the crowds

——

I hope that you fight the madness

Inside your head

I hope you live

——

They say this is the new normal

new world order

I’m here to say

I will thrive

No matter how history decides to record this

With every broken bone

With every flare up

Every sleepless night

I’m not waiting for permission

We have to live

Reach over that wall

Face your cravings

What do you want?

Really?

Stop waiting

You have to live

——

I asked myself a long time ago

How I would manage these days

You have to come home to yourself

I’ll soon be 31

I’m tired

But I’m going to keep walking

Bleeding ink #1,448

Talk about

Your doomesday state of mind

All the colour from the sunrise

Fades…

Worn through

Bleached out

I’m cut open

Like the emptiness inside of this room

——-

She says

Tell me again

How I’m too much

And never enough

And

The way we landed

From sky high

To these trenches

——-

They said we would always have ….

And they said

Even gods and angels

——

The hurricane is coming

How hungry will you be

Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of stew

Jacob wrestled God until morning

——-

It feels like a 100 lb anvil in the center of my chest

I keep looking for truth

Keep looking for you

But all I see

Is these rains

These days

This hurricane

Iced Down

I could

Write you

A thousand lines

About the times

Tell you everything is changing

Better step up to

Plate your change

State your claim

—-

To the new reality

Starz

Coming out

Waving their banner

mind your manner

—-

Soul’s escaping

I’ve been working everyday

Since I was 6

Tell me what you know

All I know is it goes on

You take the good with the bad

And you make what you’ve got

You’re living and breathing social media hype

Tell me how many likes you get

For waking up to the sound of termites eating your window seal

Tell me again

How hot you’re not

You can do whatever you want

Don’t let them get to you

Push back

I write to kill

I kill to write

Tell you what I’m not

Broken

Shattered

You cannot burn a flame

Hotter than the soul in my eyes

It’s back

You cannot take that

I might put a lot

On the plate

But I’m not

Emptying myself like this again

She’s a hit

A hot star

She’s red

Full lips

Sex in heels

She’ll take your heart

Eat it in front of you

While riding you

Take your bad backseat

Tell me again about how hot you got it

Shoulda shoulda woulda

Look

Your dream is collapsing

You’ve got to roll the dice

Snap

Wake up

Hit the ground running

Times are what they are

Your cards on the table

Play what you’ve been dealt

Like it’s

The cards

You wanted

Tell me again how it’s going to end

Three steps forward one step back

Sounds like progress in the end

All this pain

All of this fight

You stay in it all night

Blow for blow

Victory

In the end

Text your frequent flyover miles

And Monday morning quarter backs

The play by play

You’re in the ring

This isn’t newsfeed

This isn’t story

This isn’t updates

This is reality

This is your life

It is what you make it

It goes on

Good with the bad

Everything passes

So be present

Be real

And

Make yourself proud

Just be here now

Chasing Sleep

I unsubscribed from the news

The internet

The perfect

places

—–

I was strutting around

Like I owned the town

When I think back on it …

Now I feel this winter in my chest

I’m humbled to know so many people that love me

I know now

You can win and you can lose

And you can do both gracefully

—-

It feels like this weight

Pushing down on me

I’m running

And I can’t stop

And there’s a ledge

I know it’s there

But I can’t stop

—–

I know you can love

I’ve seen you do it

You just choose to love me poorly….

Maybe I choose too

I hear myself say, this is who I am…I’m good at loving people

I’m good at being here with you …

But then I hear you say

This is just who you are…

And I wonder

How we have the same defense

And

How we

Left the bedroom

Look at our weapons

Hidden away

Throughout this home

This is a battlefield

—-

I used to strut around like I knew something

Now I’m humbled

I’m not sure what I know

Even about myself

I reserve the right to write what I want

I’m coming home to myself

The trees are still asleep in the morning

Your skin is soft against mine

Your eyes say good morning

Long before your lips

Two souls

Anchored together

Like ships in the water

The moon is down

I feel your light

And you are beautiful

Beautiful

I used to know

What did I know

Now

I’m just thankful

To share this space with you

I can still taste your lips