The one about New Years and redos

I meant to work out this year. It was on my very secret list of things to do.

But then, I took a nap without setting an alarm and I woke up, and it was almost March.

Let’s face it, I’ve got to start working on my winter body, if the year is going by this fast,

The flu is going around, that’s the real reason I’m not going to the gym. I’m a complete germ freak. I basically disinfect the entire gym when I go.

Do you realize just how difficult it is to get cold medicine these days?

Back in the day, you had a cough or back ache,you could send your five year old neighbor to the doctor, who was also the local postman, and grocer. To get a bottle of absinthe and some opium. Because you had to keep chopping lumber.

Now?

I’ve got to go down there in person and show my ID and sign my name and give them my birth certificate and mortgage papers just to get some crap medicine that won’t even work.

What happens when we die? Do I have to verify my identity then too? Show you my ID? Make sure I am the person spoken of. That you are expecting for this reserved hole in the ground.

Don’t worry, if we can’t verify, we’ve got an unmarked road between two county roads, just behind the Sunday school, where we will just dump your body. What could go wrong.

I really do believe we are getting stronger as we grow up though.

Not really.

Let’s face it. We’ve all shattered those expectations. If it was a glass ceiling? We couldn’t even clean it, let alone crack it.

We’ve taken so many antibiotics, we can’t even get over a hangover and a bad date. Let alone a real virus.

Used to we had people like Doc Holliday, they’d show up to work coughing blood and they’d still out work you. Now, if there’s even a chance of mild discomfort, I’m going to need to take off for about six months leave. Turns out I can’t handle constipation like I used to. The doctor agrees as well.

We are just not built the same. I don’t know what happened, but it’s there.

And I’m trapped between these two age groups. Maybe it’s because I have been working since I was 6 years old. It’s all I know how to do. Maybe I didn’t have the same childhood as other people but at least I’ve worked to get where I am, and I’ve never asked anyone for help or a handout,you know?

I just find it funny how, When everything was unregulated, unsupervised, we still had more pride and work ethic.

Now, we have better supervision, regulation, and honestly probably for the better. But we’re like a bunch of degenerates. We want a miracle pill. You know, like a re-do button.

You remember when you were little and you could just yell redo!

And get a second chance?

That’s what we’re after.

Something to cancel out the years of bad decisions and choices that have stacked up against us.

But what do I know? I’m not a doctor or anything, I just know how to laugh at myself. Now pass me another Beer.

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Ashes

The piano was more difficult to play now, certain chords would go missing….

The same with photographs. Some faces were familiar…others were blackened with ash and she didn’t know them…

Some days she felt like everything was good. She really had a hold on things.

Other days, she would be given a journal

And expected to write…

But the pages were burning

The words were missing…

The safest place was the window on those days.

To just sit and look outside….

She could remember some things…

But it was all the new faces that frightened her.

The new town….

Other days she would work on her next detective novel…

But she always felt, trapped,inside a burning house

And couldn’t shake the feeling,time was running out.

But then, she had felt like this since her early twenties.

Now she was…she was…

The Life of Job

New rebel

Old devil

Wake to the news

All of my people look the same

We are all

just badly dressed

Sara is still depressed

Johnny’s at the bar again

Talkin’ about the government

Saw you online again

Spreadin’ your intelligence

What’s anybody got to say?

We just sound the same

Isn’t it a cryin’ shame

We all got caught in the pouring rain

Jessie’s got her pregnant

Can’t even pay rent

We all know better

We’re all living well

Until we miss a pay check

Then we’re all screwed to hell

Oh well…

Aaron’s in the bathroom

PTSD

How long was the war again?

Did it ever really end?

Who can tell

The weather man shot that cloud to hell

When he took the draft away

Now there’s no overcast

And they killed the war machine

Or did it just switch garage again

keep working on the change

Staying off the chain gang

They’ll overlook the needle

And throw you away for a leaf

Even if you get free, you’ll never pay the fees

Look out soul

What’s happened to rockin’ roll…

Forget about the cards you’re dealt

There’s no guarantee

Keep your head down

Even when you have a good hand

We all know someone who lost his house back then

History makes a repeat

We’ll all skip a beat

We don’t work like we used to

What on earth will they ever do

Storm’s on the horizon

How’re you gonna make it?

What if you create it…

Dust on Dust

(Bleeding ink )

Dust on dust

Summer starts in June and ends in Jan…

The longer you sit

and hope for a breeze

The more cigarettes you smoke

dehydrate a little more

Everyone loses their voice

eyes dry out

Doesn’t matter anyway

It was a dry county just yesterday

Popping allergy pills

And opioids

Just to get them to the well

The ditches along the railroad dyed from the mills

Now they’re long gone

The trains are stalled

Only the sign is left inside the bar

Where we all gather and talk about how it used to be

Some turned into apartments

Where my dog sits in the window

Looking out for me

It’s difficult for a stranger to remember

But these ghosts

Are all over this place

It took everything from our parents

And they say it will never be the same

They say there used to be standing ground

For 75k people

To play the music

But all of that left some time ago

Man

Sometimes

It feels just like

All of our youth

Gets

Spent living

All of our

Strength

Spent dying

What’s left

To dream with?

Or are we

Destined

To spend the next

Best years

Searching

For these answers why…

Don’t let them

Slip you by …

it feels like we all know someone

Who knows someone

Who has a story to tell

About the days gone by

Like a nervous system

Underneath the surface of these streets

We all have something we can finally talk about

But don’t let it get you down

Yeah

She plans on gettin out

She’s counting the days of the year

Until it gets her right

You can’t sit down and cry about it

You keep moving forward

A little at a time

Working on the change

Staying off the chain gang

That’s how you turn it all around

Yeah

These are our towns

These are hard times but at least they’re our times

-regardingsamuel.com

-ethan S bethune

Bleeding Ink 1,235

I could never write you out

This town has a way

Of staying around

If you’re good to people

I don’t know that they’ll always

be good to you

But if you’re good to people

They’ll remember you-

At least that’s what they say…

Some of those faces get out and move away

Others just fade away

Everyone has the best excuse –

We all have things we hide away

It washes into the emergency rooms

The shelters too

They clean up our mistakes

Pretend on Sunday

We’re all doing ok …

I’ve seen us come and go

I’ve watched us all growing old

We grew up fast

There’s not as many of us here today

I hope you’re doing okay

I could never write you out

Those crystal diamond eyes

Have a way of staying

When everything else fades

And we’re all tangled up in gray

Look at all the promises we broke

Look at all that we tried

How far have we really come

Is this what we saw

When we were young…

Bleeding Ink #1,234

New killer reality

New Stars appear in the sky

Half Past midnight

Jesus sets down

In Midtown

Is everything as it was prophesied

And all the years

That kept going by

All the truths turned to lies

All the tears

Turned to light

The fears we soon forget

How soon

Too soon

All of us

The black stars in the skies

It’s all nuclear

It’s all of us

It’s what we want

It’s what we give away

The ticket to the car ride

The get away

Hey, can we

Stay

Everyday

Getting gray

What’s left but the get away

New Stars in the sky

We’re getting Old

How could we know

Bleeding Ink #1,233

(image source unknown)

“Please keep writing. I like your penmanship and your poetry. Your words are beautiful.” She said.

She lived on the other side of the world. A place I had only heard of from people who had heard from someone who had heard…

Out here, we want to feel strongly about things that we borrowed.

Religions.

We like what they give us. But – we don’t live in their houses…

We’ve never seen their shadows or their demons. We seperated ourselves from them with a body of water. And declared them our own.

She was a writer

She wrote about her questions and how she watched classmates disappear. Never knowing if they were alive. Growing up surrounded by fighting and being told they had to choose. Between fighting or an education.

She wrote about love

And growing

I felt so entirely separated from these things…

Time has a way of slowing us down

Graying hair

And speeding up…

Someone said the world would be better without a Jew

And someone else was crying because they read an article saying Maya Angelou died today…

I didn’t have the heart to tell them, she passed away in Twenty Fourteen…

I was standing outside a grocery store. When a girl wearing a Dupatta walked out. And a man turned and said “what the?? I don’t want to get blown up.”

A few days later , I was talking to an older man when he saw a couple walk by. A white girl and a black man. He erupted. “That’s unnatural. The animal kingdom doesn’t even mix species. It’s a sin. And disgusting.”

Time passes

But

It was just yesterday

Wasn’t it…

We borrow things.

We make them our own.

Without understanding the depth of what we’ve taken.

“Keep Writing please. I love your words.”

She was muslim.

sometimes I look for her and wonder where she went

How she is

If she, herself, continued writing…

If she kept her faith

And if I even kept mine…