Number the stars

It’s said
That Jupiter
Shields earth from asteroids
Without ever blocking it with its shadow ….
Think about that kind of love and rising…
To love like that…
And never make a big deal about it …
But I will love you …
And we will talk about everything and nothing
And I will number the stars in your skin
I will trace the scars
From your unspoken battles
And I will thank you
Without words
But with my lips
Until we eclipse
Until every star
Has fell from every sky
That’s how we will rise

-regardingsamuel.com

What’s your dream?
Your passion?
Where do you want to be?
What are you walking towards?
We tied ourselves up inside other people’s ideas
Look out at all the other faces in the room
If you don’t build your own

You will build one of theirs

What are you building ?

Are you just what you wanted?
Are you alright?
Do you dream at night?
Do the stars shout your name from the sky?
—-
I run for health
I write to kill
I kill to write
People say we’ve never been here before
I don’t have time to stop and compare
I’m going somewhere….
I was born
I was standing still
I wrote about the lonely
I wrote about living until our time is up is out
But I was there
I was putting pieces of my heart together
Alone
I’m just a broken vessel
But I’m strong
And here
Inside these walls
These streets
I found my people
We are made of love
They came to see me
They all know me
—-
We are born
Until we are born again
We all dream
Until we dream out loud
We all run…
Until time runs out….
—-
What is your passion?
What is your dream?

Stardust

You are not some
Force to be dealt with
You are flesh and bone
Stardust
I cannot lie
I have to stop
Just so I can look back
And
We will learn what it is to be human
Some days we’ll live
Some days we’ll laugh
Others we’ll cry

Sometimes I’m weak

Sometimes I’m strong

Others I just barely have enough


We will live to lose all the love we’ve held….


So I hope you understand
After our kiss and long good byes
I will always – always – look back
-Regardingsamuel.com

Origin unknown

Things that don’t suck 2

Things that don’t suck

Realising

You can still make amazing dinners

But for yourself,

Champagne, The Rat Pack, steak…

Not having the dinner thrown in the trash…

Not having someone get up and just leave or go to bed after you make it

Ties, tie clips, waistcoats, fedoras, hardsole shoes…

New jeans…

A cigar dipped in bourbon

Hennessy

A classic sidecar recipe

Jazz

Asus chord

Guitar

Cheesecake

Buying yourself flowers every month instead of someone else

Writing letters

Thunderstorms

Pasta (always pasta)

Setting goals

Crushing goals

Walking your dog

Accepting that you were a good husband

And forgiving yourself for what you did in survival mode…

Watching the sunrise

2020 #43

When I was younger

My neighbor planted these pear trees in his front yard…

They were attractive trees

The only problem was, every time the wind blew, they lost a limb or split down the middle.

I remember because that season we had tornadoes every Friday.

My dad had a cherry tree. He hated it. That same summer he tried cutting down.

It came back.

He tried pulling it up with his tractor.

But it came back.

Finally he cut it, and then burned it.

——

The night I had to go to the house and found my father had passed away…

I remember walking outside in the rain I looked over

And saw that the cherry tree was back…

I laughed, it had outlasted my dad.

——-

The pear trees looked better.

They didn’t take up space

And everyone loved them

But they were frail…

——-

I hope you’re like the cherry tree

I hope you’re resilient

I hope you fight tooth and nail for what you believe in… and for yourself

I hope you don’t give up what’s keeping you moving.

I want to be like that

For my health

For my life

For my art

Keep going

Take up space

Grow large

What else is there?

Bleeding ink 1,519

I read somewhere that if a man cares about you…you won’t ever have to wonder how he feels…

He will remind you.

So I was thinking about you…

And I hope you are good

I hope your days are good

I hope you find the love

That is slow and deep

So deep that you can’t feel the bottom

I hope it’s the champagne kind of love…

I hope you are reminded daily

Even when he isn’t there

She said something about the honeymoon being over

It isn’t supposed to last

It’s a marriage after all…

But marriage is an island babe.

If you don’t bring it,

You won’t find it here…

So bring it

Bring the champagne

Bring the slow dances

Bring the starry eyes

Bring the ties

The lipstick

The records

Whatever it takes

To make it through

Bring that

How else will they know?

That they’re the only thing you see

Across the room?

-regardingsamuel.com

Bleeding Ink 1,518

Time out of mind

My insides are stone

All I do is groan

What kind of love….she said

Cold hands

I’m free

But when the lights go down

When the traffic is tight

While I’m waiting

I still hear him

I still see him

Stomping

Yelling

Who knew

Marriage was war

——-

She feels herself slipping away

She sees him

And feels the blow from his words

The blow from his hands

That selfish way he demands

——

It’s a long way

Long way from home

She has that vacant stare in her eyes

Like a war vet

You know she’s reliving it

——

She’s praying for salvation

——

Hoping she can still touch things gently

There’s nothing left to see…

Nothing left to say

He may not hit you

But he may cut your off from your circle

He may cut you down

He may gaslight you

He may suddenly twist it

And make you feel like

Your feelings are invalid

He may sit down and portray a conversation

But it’s really just conditioning you

So you can go back to the way he needs you

He may be nice here

And over there

And those little moments feel so bright

Because they are so few and so far

——

What does it matter now

There’s barely light here now

I’m always reaching

But I can never find

Is there some way out

Some piece of me left?

Just buckets of pain

Buckets of rain

Cities on fire

I’m not even crying

Barely even trying

What’s the point

My heart broke some time ago …

Now there’s just

Flashes of colour

Flashes of pain

What is there left here to spare ?

Bleeding Ink 1,516

Why do we pretend so hard

That we’re doing fine

When we know

We’re just passing shadows in this house

The echoes in the night

Are just whispers of our pride

I left all my thoughts out on the lawn

And I pray

I pray

I can get some sleep

But my cuts run too deep

I guess my soul is bleeding out

Why do we pretend

When we both know

I tried

I lied

Like the flowers you let die

And you can’t even look at me

Tell me

How long does it take

For love to run out

Is it red hands

Is it pills

To put us to sleep

So we don’t have to see

That you don’t even touch me

Anymore

Unless it’s to slam the door

I guess I

Can’t stand here anymore

We’re both too good at this fight

Or maybe we just ran out of time

Why do we do what we do

Like shadows passing in the night

And now I make dinner for one

I still hold my tongue

And I can’t sleep

I can’t sleep

I still hold my tongue

So hard that I wake up and my lips bleed

———

I can’t write this book anymore

It’s a knife in my gut

This year is too too damn old

Oh babe

You can’t start a fire

Crying over your past

We have to let these things go

We have to let these things go

Exist

I know, what voices cross the waters at Midnight

They keep reminding you

Of old versions of you

They’re there in the corner

———

My chest is flooded

My eyes are on fire

My throat is filled with coal

——-

Exist

Beyond what you were dreaming

All of your enemies already know ….

And these days

Are just a dry county

You’re waking up

———

I know what voices cross the waters

I know you know

But just so….

Keep existing

Keep believing

Keep walking

Your light won’t go out

Your soul is on fire

These are your days