Francis: When is breffist?
Ethan: We JUST ate.
Francis: Then what do we do on Sunday’s?
Ethan: Write, and clean. Did you know you’re named after Fitzgerald?
Francis: I’m a poet.
Ethan: No you’re not.
Francis: A starving poet. Sitting on words. . .
Simon: Hey dad! So, I’ve decided to change my name to Cinnamon…
Ethan: Oh God, no.
Simon: Francis said it was a good name! Like a superhero!
Ethan: I can’t let you change your name to Cinnamon…
Ethan: Because it’s a, because, because some people are allergic to Cinnamon and you’re four. But I KNOW A CAT WHO’S GOING TO THE VA!
Simon: Hey mom! Listen, I’ve got a great idea. You should cook your way through Julia Child’s cookbook and let ME be your taste tester! I’m really good!
Simon: I’m not going to lie, I’ve got a full schedule, I already have a job. Being Dads best friend and all. But I think I could make it work.
L: But you don’t really work…
Simon: I do to, it’s real important! And when he’s gone to work, I am the protector!
L: Ooookay. If you say so.
Simon: Daad mom doesn’t believe me. Tell her my job is real important.
Ethan: What’s that? Hey, thanks for being my best friend.
Simon: I told you!
Simon: So what do I need to know, about the cats…
Casper: Well, first, they are not dogs. And they never will be.
Simon: Ok ok, well, how do I play with him?
Casper: They don’t do fetch. Sometimes, they pounce on you, while you’re sleeping. And sometimes, while you’re just walking down the stairs…
Simon: When do they sleep?
Simon: do they know about chase the stick ?
Or roll in the grass?
Or chase the ball?
Or walk around the park?
Casper: No, but sometimes, they break things and you get blamed for it. And sometimes they jump out of no where and scare you.
Francis Cash: My name is Francis, I have the bloodline of royalty.
Francis: unfortunately, I was not living the life of royalty. I was in a shelter. But then I met this nice man.
Francis: I could see opportunity.
Ethan: This is Francis, we decided to adopt him. Simon, helped, I figured we could watch Star Trek and the X- Files together and he wouldn’t be scared.
Francis: He seemed nice enough. I decided I would let him live with me. We could work something out. I would have to put up with the doggo, but I could tell this was a writer.
Francis: Ahh yes, I could sense the stories.
Simon: Heyyyyv Francis!
Francis: Sniff my paw,it’s soft.
Simon: No, no, nope, I may have fell for that the first time and the second time…but I’m not going to fall for it again.
Simon: what do you even do with a cat?? I have so many questions. . .
Simon: Dad! Dad! No no no no no no no no!
Ethan: Hey what is wrong man? Breathe, now, sit down. Ok. Much better.
Simon: Someone stole the bed. I know, because I was going to bed, but it’s not there because SOMEONE STOLE it!
Ethan: No one stole it.
Simon: They didn’t ?
Ethan: Nah, it was just Aliens. You know, (whistles X-Files theme)
Simon: I knew it!
Ethan: No, I’m putting together a new bed. Are you gonna help me or not?
Simon: I don’t think we can get this done in time for bed..
Ethan: Sure we can!
Ethan: I may have made a miscalculation on the difficulty of this…
12 hours later. Or, the next day.
Ethan: Simon! I finally finished! Come on, let’s go to bed!
L: Did he not go to sleep?
Ethan: No, he waited all night.
L: well, hey, I’ve got to ask you something.
L: Guys? Guys?
Simon: I’m thinking about making a wine.
Simon: Yes, it will be really great. Hints of Bone Broth, bark and dark thistles.
Ethan: Mmm (gags) that sounds (gags) delicious.
What’s the name?
Garf: I got this, name it, Din Din number 1
Ethan: I can tell you’re new at this.
Simon: Beagle Brigade