Simon: So what do I need to know, about the cats…
Casper: Well, first, they are not dogs. And they never will be.
Simon: Ok ok, well, how do I play with him?
Casper: They don’t do fetch. Sometimes, they pounce on you, while you’re sleeping. And sometimes, while you’re just walking down the stairs…
Simon: When do they sleep?
Simon: do they know about chase the stick ?
Or roll in the grass?
Or chase the ball?
Or walk around the park?
Casper: No, but sometimes, they break things and you get blamed for it. And sometimes they jump out of no where and scare you.
Francis Cash: My name is Francis, I have the bloodline of royalty.
Francis: unfortunately, I was not living the life of royalty. I was in a shelter. But then I met this nice man.
Francis: I could see opportunity.
Ethan: This is Francis, we decided to adopt him. Simon, helped, I figured we could watch Star Trek and the X- Files together and he wouldn’t be scared.
Francis: He seemed nice enough. I decided I would let him live with me. We could work something out. I would have to put up with the doggo, but I could tell this was a writer.
Francis: Ahh yes, I could sense the stories.
Simon: Heyyyyv Francis!
Francis: Sniff my paw,it’s soft.
Simon: No, no, nope, I may have fell for that the first time and the second time…but I’m not going to fall for it again.
Simon: what do you even do with a cat?? I have so many questions. . .
Simon: Dad! Dad! No no no no no no no no!
Ethan: Hey what is wrong man? Breathe, now, sit down. Ok. Much better.
Simon: Someone stole the bed. I know, because I was going to bed, but it’s not there because SOMEONE STOLE it!
Ethan: No one stole it.
Simon: They didn’t ?
Ethan: Nah, it was just Aliens. You know, (whistles X-Files theme)
Simon: I knew it!
Ethan: No, I’m putting together a new bed. Are you gonna help me or not?
Simon: I don’t think we can get this done in time for bed..
Ethan: Sure we can!
Ethan: I may have made a miscalculation on the difficulty of this…
12 hours later. Or, the next day.
Ethan: Simon! I finally finished! Come on, let’s go to bed!
L: Did he not go to sleep?
Ethan: No, he waited all night.
L: well, hey, I’ve got to ask you something.
L: Guys? Guys?
Simon: I’m thinking about making a wine.
Simon: Yes, it will be really great. Hints of Bone Broth, bark and dark thistles.
Ethan: Mmm (gags) that sounds (gags) delicious.
What’s the name?
Garf: I got this, name it, Din Din number 1
Ethan: I can tell you’re new at this.
Simon: Beagle Brigade
Pizza man: Hey Simon!
Simon: Hey best friend.
Garfunkel: Hey Who is it?
Simon: Nobody, go away.
Pizza man: that’ll be 15 dollars.
Garf: You can’t PAY the pizza man with dog treats. He needs cash. He’s gonna cut your paws off!
Simon: Well, I hope he likes dog treats.
Simon: This is my friend puddles. He’s going to pay you.
Garf: What? That’s not my name !
Pizza man: that’s a cool name
Simon: It’s cause he pees in the floor.
Ethan: Hey man, here’s your money. Sorry it took so long. Come on boneheads.
Garf: Come on man, I gotta watch my shows! It’s almost time for the Orville.
Ethan: Speaking of Space, the final, frontier… on the day of today, we took our very first picture of a black hole.
Simon: Rocket man!!!
Simon: Every day, dad comes home on lunches, and we go to the outside. It’s great. We play for days.
Ethan: You realize, it’s only one hour. And most people actually get to eat on their lunch.
Garfunkel: Well I’m just a starvin’ marvin, just a starvin’ marvin, I ain’t eat in three whole days!
Ethan: What are you singing? What is this?
Garfunkel: what if we all go and get sammiches.
Ethan: How about peanut butter and you guys go to the bathroom like you’re supposed to. I’m about to have to leave.
Simon: Whaaat what do you have left, a week, three days? Is it 57 minutes! No not the minutes! They are so sad!
Ethan: that’s it, I’m leaving. I’m never coming back. I’ll send you a postcard.
Garfunkel: Wait for me! Bum bum dum dum starvin’ marvin…