Take the bread From the children’s mouth Talk about the better days And how the times they’ve changed —- All our eyes color gray You ask a lot of mother To give up all her quiet days —- I know I’ve broken the flesh And bone I guess you could call this spirit home give up clouded skies rain mixed Winter haze I’m not fading away It’s only time for me to change I can’t come here anymore I And I And You And Truth It’s time for me to change my habits Small virtues —- have I seen And felt the sun across Your skin I still feel you I still see you Nothing can always shine Even you need a break —- clouded skies rain mixed Winter haze They say there’s no harvest here What happens to our youth Body soft Red tan Lips drunk and lungs hot You’re high And my eyes colour gray I can’t come here anymore It’s just different seasons It’s just different reasons Even you need a break They ask a lot … But you You can’t Be Anything all the time Keep our quiet days —— -E
Learning how to live with yourself and your own company is a huge thing… How you act, how you love,how you treat yourself along with other people.
The whole world- short staffed – back to work, like kids leaving home, is this fair? Why is it so cruel…
We learned what we would live for Work for Thought we could be kinder But instead sometimes, most of the time, forgot how to be civil and accidentally, for a time, treated others like we were at home,
Short staffed
bakers, makers, teachers, bankers, dentist, pastors, bartenders, short order cooks, long order hostesses, short hand mail workers, sex workers, and hungry men with appetites that were never thin but didn’t have a first pitch follow through to make it across a crisis, home plate or much less a schedule…
There’s a family of 12 that is sitting when you come in, A table of 14 behind you And the girl that greets you, grabs a beer, takes your order,runs to wash some dishes, then brings you your drinks,
Tommy doesn’t like lettuces and Reagan, convinced of a bacon allergy, because of a snap chat video at 2am… Jots that down…
The new cook has to come out to the table… This All of this … Is why you don’t have your one donut…
While it appears the world is re opened like Easter Sunday and a honeymoon It’s really more like legs spread for child birth…
I wanted new experiences So I delivered food for a time “How are you?” “I’m fine, never better, I’m making more money now than I’ve ever made before…I drink all day, have my meals brought to my door…the world is mine.” “It will never last.” I said. “All good things come to an end.”
I cooked in a kitchen…
The world looked different from the inside of the bar I would never be the same Or maybe that was just the heat
I baked for a bakery
Atleast this would help my dating life …
I sat on her porch “I’m sorry I was such an ass …” “You’re supposed to be, you’re a writer. That’s what you do. You could have made me laugh more…But I’m the Elaine to your Jerry…” “You can’t marry that…” “You can’t marry that.”
All in all How lucky we were Even with loss… Even not being ready Even scared Maybe we could live for those we lost… Or at least try… All In all… How lucky we were. -E Regardingsamuel.com
Dad used to have us hold fence post while he drove them in the ground…it hurt like hell and if we let go he would get so frustrated. This may or may not sound bad, I don’t ask myself those questions… between testing spark plugs physically, and digging up grease traps and septic tanks and plumbing the house, all while you’re maybe 10 maybe 12? Being told not to tell people “We live in the basement.” (An unfinished basement that dad never built a house with) And “we got these shoes from the dump.” (A roadside dump where magically, books and shoes or jackets would appear)
Things blur together… He was good at dreams but terrible, terrible at execution…everything took two years and a summer…it didn’t matter what it was.
My favorite was selling produce I got to go to the farmers markets I got to pick out items I remember when they were still hopping and you could get hamburgers And food… Every day I would set up the produce stand on the side of the road at 6am
People would stop and ask me about school or want their kids to ask me why I did it… I would just use some prepared statement about bread on the table…
My point being Whatever was right and wrong with my father, I learned I’ve always learned I remember our house eaten by termites I remember going to every church on the mountain and accidentally going to a snake handling church and watching his face catch up to what all that entailed… I recall conversations that were twisted…
You learn from bad situations and bad Mgr’s and bad business and unfortunate Outcomes ….
You learn what you don’t want You learn what you don’t want to be That’s largely half the battle tho Move to what you want Say no to what you don’t
You learn how to plan ahead Rather than break when things fall apart
I still struggle But I’m trying
I’ve worked every day that I can remember for as long as I can remember It’s the only thing I know It is incredibly hard for me not to work
Now, there’s a growing strand of people That can’t work more than 5 hours at most
In what world do we not have to work everyday
Even at marriage Even at life It’s work It’s all work
It all moves forward I’ve been terrified most of my life Whether it was being on the side of the road during tornadoes Or driving paper routes during tornadoes
Managing 87 employees Firing people Faking it
We talk a lot about how religion “holds the south back.” Anything can hold you back That’s just life… My poetry and art could hold me back My moods My work ethic You have to have balance
17 year old men stormed beaches Fought wars Died
The only thing I know Is that life must be faced I have to face it I’ve been terrified most of my life And everything I’ve ever done I’ve done before I was ready
And I learned it on the ground I messed up a lot But I’m still here I’m right here And my life Goes forwards Face your life Its pain Its joy Its quiet
You don’t get a redo We are here until we are not This isn’t a dress rehearsal This is it You’re not waiting for a big goal Your life is largely The small insignificant habits That you think are getting you to the large goal
We change As we grow and live and that’s ok
Let yourself live And keep going Keep going
Things hurt I had to figure out what I could live with I knew my father had poor ideas about women and marriage and god He was terrified So I just sat with him We talked about work We talked about the Atlanta braves Listening to the ball games on the radio And when he died I dealt with it
I still have things pop up and I have to look at it again Such is this essay
You are the author of your life You decide You You can decide Always
I left a 53k a year job One year ago Stressed Not sure if it would work out I lost a car Gained a lot of debt Took a massive pay cut Worked three jobs just to get by Made it to full time in 90 days Every day gets better
What I found Was more than just retail More than just a “job” But a culture Where I could learn and grow Where I would be challenged daily To be my best And then better It’s not a job It’s more than a family It’s a business That each associate has ownership and responsibility of It‘s been the greatest risk I’ve taken But it’s been worth every hit… The sky is literally the limit There’s opportunity everywhere
Publix is about people And its communities It is as good or bad as you want it to be… Here I’ve found values that I align with Challenges that make me better in every area of my life… I’ve been greatly humbled But I’ve never been more excited about my future. -E
What’s your mission statement?
Our mission Our mission at Publix is to be the premier quality food retailer in the world.
To that end, we commit to be:
Passionately focused on customer value, Intolerant of waste, Dedicated to the dignity, value and employment security of our associates, Devoted to the highest standards of stewardship for our stockholders, and Involved as responsible citizens in our communities.
Ethan: lets go run. You run while I ride my bike… Francis: OUTSIDES?? Isn’t there danimals out there? Ethan: here we go… Simon: I think I saw a ground hog once, but I can’t find him now, they are such good hiders! Francis: I’ll camp inside, I’ve got my shows… (Later) Ethan: LISTEN, I’m sorry I ran over you… But you can’t just run in front of me like that… Simon: Well I had to sniff a rock dad, it was a really cool rock too and I thought I have the right of way, can’t I cross anytime… Ethan: What is this nonsense, where did you get this? Simon: Francis… Ethan: Let’s not listen to Francis…the cat that thinks camping is sleeping ten feet from the porch light… Besides that…you didn’t even see the snake in the road Francis: Vipers!
Remember all you children The sky – like water in your hands All the flowers are wilting In the summer sun Waiting on the rains – again —- We don’t have time on a mantle We don’t have forever and ever after all —— I wonder if they told you How to live and love When the darkness comes on strong There are fires that burn the heart and blood There are colds that set in your heart and bone There is truth And there is pain that settles in your eyes —— Forever Forever Oh my youth —— Forever —— They say everyone has an excuse I wonder how many of us have ever really seen you say no I wonder if we even know what to do with it They said he broke her after the fall She tried to say no Then she didn’t try at all Don’t be afraid of hurting feelings No is enough You shouldn’t have to keep pushing Even if you’ve only just changed your mind No is enough No excuse No reasons No explanations No apology No is complete In life, art, work and love
Learn to hear your own heart Learn to read those you’re with ———
We don’t have time on a mantle We don’t have forever and ever after all We don’t have time to keep wasting On things that don’t really matter to us at all…
Forever Forever Whatever Forever What if it has nothing to do with us at all
If the god idea is on the outside of the known universe
Then a creator is on the outside
Of their structure of work…
Or the structures of society…
There are no sharp edges
No walls
No ceilings
You can create whatever you want
But why…
There is a feeling –
And like most things- it’s lonely and likely,likely, a minuscule group and not the reality…
But there is a feeling at least for myself…
That it’s an Instagram society
And we must purchase
Exchange something from ourselves
To attain something – a special key – to unlock ourselves ….
But I don’t think we are a puzzle …
With pieces scattered throughout the universe …
We are whole…
Right now…
And there is a feeling- a pressure- that it must be
Insightful
Inspiring
And useful
——
Again…
Imposter syndrome is likely my culprit here…
If architects build structures
And landscapers lay foundations
And gardeners set tables
Artists
Are the emotions
The colours
The sensations
The memory
For society
Imagination is so important
It’s doesn’t even have to be good or great
Just show up
Even if you sit there 250 days in a row and don’t build anything
But on the 251st day
You do
You’re an artist in and out of season
You matter
——
The older I get
The less I am impressed with people
headlines (they sell stories)
There’s nothing new under the sun
We gripe on our parents
Our children will gripe on us…
We feel important and like we are doing a great work
but we all will grow old and slowly fade into the corners of rooms
Possibly becoming punchlines, ignored and suddenly we will understand how our parents possibly felt
And
There is nothing new under the sun
It’s so easy to just fall in line and be an echo
I could write about how lovely my wife was until we divorced and then it would be so easy to say she failed in the marriage and crucify her…
And most people would be ok with that
It’s easy to occupy an established place until you step out of or over a perceived line and then you become a punchline or headline and are reminded of your place
There was a writer from the Middle East
She wrote me once and asked me to keep writing …
I read her work
And all of her writing was about losing friends in school
And bombings
And religions
I thought what it must be like
To be surrounded by religions
And people selling you something all the time
Maybe we are just another echo when we pray…
I have doubts
Like a flood
But I think about her a lot
And I – I believe in art
And so I ask
Why write?
To build
Brick by brick
Forget about what you think you know
About headlines
About social media
everything is marketing and nothing is as it seems
