Ethan: Well, we made it buddy.
Simon: We did?
Francis: Frashasha! (Plays drums)
Ethan: This is our 300th!
Simon: Oh boy! What’s a 300?
Ethan: We’ve been through a lot together…
Simon: Here’s a sniff back…I was saving that one…
Ethan: it was funny.
Francis: I’m buying you both a jokes book…
Francis: Uh ohs, it’s time for some snackeroones. Hey pops, What about some ham-burglars
Ethan: You, you mean burgers?
Francis: Yeahs burglars
Ethan: (gets buns, singing)
Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie.
Pancakes piled up ’till they reach the sky.
Francis: (singing) Wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak
Ethan: bun down!
Francis: ….
Simon: ….
Ethan: Then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order!
Ethan: Hey, Francis. What time is it?
Francis: let me check my watch…it’s two hundred and thirty two am.
Ethan: ….
Francis: what?
Ethan: that’s not how you tell time
Francis: That’s what it says!
Ethan: Never mind, it’s fine, I’ll just burn my watches and alarms and phone and finally finish my novels and ….
Francis: Oof, Not before two hundred and thirty two AMS
Ethan: …..
You are not some
Force to be dealt with
You are flesh and bone
Stardust
I cannot lie
I have to stop
Just so I can look back
And
We will learn what it is to be human
Some days we’ll live
Some days we’ll laugh
Others we’ll cry
Sometimes I’m weak
Sometimes I’m strong
Others I just barely have enough
We will live to lose all the love we’ve held….
So I hope you understand
After our kiss and long good byes
I will always – always – look back
-Regardingsamuel.com
Ethan (wakes up)
Sounds of fires and drums and demons
Ethan: Hey! What the heck man
Francis: Oh, my bad, did I, did I wake you up?
Ethan: Yeah! you did!
Francis: I was just pushing this paper across the floor…see…push push
Ethan: Simon, hey, Simon, check this out. I found a documentary about poets.
Simon: What? No, I’m good, you’re a good poet.
Ethan: Simon come on man. I have chicken fingers. I’ll even make pie.
Simon: I’m sleeping. Good night.
Ethan: ….
Ethan: Hey Francis!
France: Yo, whassup wait is that pie?
Ethan: you want to watch this poetry documentary with me?
Francis: You know I’m always down to make fun of your profession.
Ethan: It’s not a profession, I don’t even get paid.
Francis: You really don’t have to make it easier. Just leave it like it is. I already told you I’m gonna watch the show with you.
Ethan: we can watch what you want next.
Francis: The aristocrats
Ethan: Again, it’s Cats- Aristocats
Francis: Look at this, according to this fb post, the average hooman doesn’t know what he wants until you sell it to him. This is ridicurous. What’s happening to societies.
Simon: I don’t believe it, I just use my nose, hey, I think there’s Cheetos in the trash…
Francis: Cheetos! Hit me. Boy, I didn’t even know I was hungry. But I’m a bit snackish.
Francis: what’s to eat! I put my order in days ago. Who’s running this joint anyway.
Ethan: Hey now, you big jerk…
Simon: Hey I was thinking we could eat sandwiches. Pastas. Oh wait wait…pasta sandwiches…
Ethan: (gags) it’s ok (gags again) how about a spinach salad…with salman…maybe-
Simon: what’s a s-s-a-lad??
Ethan: ….it’s spinach and greens…with oil and vinegar…salt and pepper…don’t use ranch it ruins it…like axe body spray…
Simon: I don’t get it?
France: Yeah me either, with all the oil and vinegar? Where do you put the lasagna?
Ethan: Great day, Simon, a salad is all the stuff you eat outside.
And Francis, we are not having lasagna…
Francis: ( big eyes)
Ethan: we’re compromising for spaghetti and garlic toast…
Simon: Yeahh Toast!
If you want to really know the difference between a cat and a dog. Adopt both.
Just close your eyes and get in there.
What’s the worst that could happen. It’s not like they’re going to be different… and if they are? It’s not going to be a big deal.
I’m lucky, France is very much like a dog. He wrestled with Simon, he lays around a lot…when it was just me and him for a few months, he was there every day. Checking on me to make sure I was still employed so I could buy him snacks
But there are differences,
When I go to bed
Simon is usually already asleep.
Under his blanket, and sheet, with his pillow, because he’s lame and spoiled.
France stops and looks in the door, I tell him goodnight, call him, he just sits there, I give up and say, “good night bud, let’s go to bed, or don’t, I don’t care, you’re a cat, do what you want.”
30 minutes later. When I’m drifting off to sleep? He jumps on the bed, “ I have decided! To ask about your day.”
Later, around 3 am he starts his olympics…jumping from the corners of the bed and launching into oblivion.
I get up around this time every day…Simon? He doesn’t start his day until 10:30 am every day. He doesn’t even say good bye anymore.
So there are big, tiny little differences.
Simons favourite food is sandwiches
Francis is convinced he enjoys coffee and alcohol. He’s probably a smoker too. But he’d never admit it to me.
Adopt a cat, adopt a dog. They’re good for you. You can walk one and stay healthy, outside.
While the other regularly criticises you on all the things you’re most sensitive about, which keeps your ego in check.
It’s a pretty good arrangement, Simon is down for whatever is the mood. Naps, movies, guitar, reading, walks.
Francis is very selective. He watches the X Files and documentaries.
Simon lives for meeting people and friends. He forgets no one.
Francis is selective, again reminding us that if you’ve met a cat and still don’t understand consent, then I don’t know what to tell you.
Will they help you write?
That remains to be seen.
Simon: Wait! you’re a writer?
Francis: I’ve never seen you write!
Ethan: I have a website
Francis: I thought that was just a really sad inspirational essays thing. (Waves paws) I didn’t know it was permanent.
Francis: ugh I knew this would happen. You lost your job didn’t you?
Ethan: No, I’m on vacation.
Francis: So I still get snax?
Ethan: Yeah, you still get snax.
Francis: What are you going to do on vacation?
Ethan: I’m going to look at self publishing. You know , I was hoping I guess, that some publisher would notice my blog and publish that, but I’m just going to go ahead and start taking the initiative.
Francis: (coughs) ugh…I mean I don’t know to tell you this…but sure…your inspirational poetry is kind of really dark and heavy…I’m sure someone will buy it.
Ethan: Ooof. Hey, look who shared my post on Instagram…
Francis: Oh Wait…don’t tell me…Shakespeare?
Ethan: I’m never talking to you again.
