The one about cats and dogs

Francis: Hit me with the lasagnas.
Simon: I call breadstix!

If you want to really know the difference between a cat and a dog. Adopt both.

Just close your eyes and get in there.

What’s the worst that could happen. It’s not like they’re going to be different… and if they are? It’s not going to be a big deal.

I’m lucky, France is very much like a dog. He wrestled with Simon, he lays around a lot…when it was just me and him for a few months, he was there every day. Checking on me to make sure I was still employed so I could buy him snacks

But there are differences,

When I go to bed

Simon is usually already asleep.

Under his blanket, and sheet, with his pillow, because he’s lame and spoiled.

France stops and looks in the door, I tell him goodnight, call him, he just sits there, I give up and say, “good night bud, let’s go to bed, or don’t, I don’t care, you’re a cat, do what you want.”

30 minutes later. When I’m drifting off to sleep? He jumps on the bed, “ I have decided! To ask about your day.”

Later, around 3 am he starts his olympics…jumping from the corners of the bed and launching into oblivion.

I get up around this time every day…Simon? He doesn’t start his day until 10:30 am every day. He doesn’t even say good bye anymore.

So there are big, tiny little differences.

Simons favourite food is sandwiches

Francis is convinced he enjoys coffee and alcohol. He’s probably a smoker too. But he’d never admit it to me.

Adopt a cat, adopt a dog. They’re good for you. You can walk one and stay healthy, outside.

While the other regularly criticises you on all the things you’re most sensitive about, which keeps your ego in check.

It’s a pretty good arrangement, Simon is down for whatever is the mood. Naps, movies, guitar, reading, walks.

Francis is very selective. He watches the X Files and documentaries.

Simon lives for meeting people and friends. He forgets no one.

Francis is selective, again reminding us that if you’ve met a cat and still don’t understand consent, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Will they help you write?

That remains to be seen.

Simon: Wait! you’re a writer?

Francis: I’ve never seen you write!

Ethan: I have a website

Francis: I thought that was just a really sad inspirational essays thing. (Waves paws) I didn’t know it was permanent.

2 thoughts on “The one about cats and dogs

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