Souls
Tag: short
Afterglow
Imagine there are as many hearts, as there are stars,
Poems,as there are brokenness and pain
Loves as there are constellations-
Imagine us
Stumbling forward
Attempting to get it right
Even so …
The words
The love
The life
How do you keep the rain from-
The moon from its afterglow ?
The stars from falling from their appointed places ?
We never really know what’s coming for us…
Even so…
Even so…
-E
Regardingsamuel.com
The change
Hey my brother
I know we grew up fast
Hey my sister
I know we get caught in the grind
Sometimes we feel so alone
—
There’s a hole in my soul
Where the pain sets in
A corner of the room where the light can’t —-
——
Hey my writer
Where’s the ballad for the working mamas
——
Hey-
I know they don’t sell it to you
Like they used to
But you’re doing better than you think you are
It’s so easy to fall behind
You know when the water rises
You know when the pain sets in
All around your home
You know when the other shoe drops
—-
But to these little victories
The overtime
The paid off debt
The living on a budget
The getting ahead
The raising of kids
The leaving the past behind
The stacking up cash
——
These little victories
In big cities
Small towns
Loving and living underground
Staying out of trouble
——
You’re doing better than you think you are
They don’t make headlines for the sobriety
It’s always the casualty
The fast lanes
But you know
How to kiss the fire
Keep your clutches from burning
Run all the lights in this town
And keep on climbing
——
I know it gets heavy
I know we all grew old somehow
—-
But sunlight still meets you
You’re still winning
You’re still you
Even while you’re changing
Even while you’re building
These small little habits
These take up all our days
And these small little victories
They will outlive our days
And
You keep on winning
You keep on building
Don’t be afraid of the change
It’s only grace
It’s only grace
It’s only running this race
-E
Regardingsamuel.com
Beagle in the City #303
Francis: Happy Dad’s day! To tha thin man!
Simon: you’re a good dad.
Francis: You’re an OLD man!
Simon: Everyday you go to Job. It sounds rough.
Francis: But this week you went to the Doctor. I’m cheerius…Is it aliens? Are you gonna get the draft? Ack! You caught the ugly? Do you have to go to a carpenter? Lay it on us…don’t hold back…I can take it…who’s gonna feed me snax?
Ethan: curious, you’re curious…also…you really don’t know what a doctor is do you?
Simon: Is it your trachea? Is it collapsing? Like Garf’s ?? Dad can you breathe?
Ethan: Hold it! Everybody just hold it…As it turns out…I have to prove I am human and I will have to continue to go back to the doc to select traffic lights, bicycles and other oddities. I will also have to continue to write poetry very poorly. But they are gonna let that slide…for now.
Francis: I knews it. . .
Ethan: Now, who wants to help me eat these pizza rolls?
Francis: Is this a twix question?
Beagle in the City #302
Ethan: lets go run. You run while I ride my bike…
Francis: OUTSIDES?? Isn’t there danimals out there?
Ethan: here we go…
Simon: I think I saw a ground hog once, but I can’t find him now, they are such good hiders!
Francis: I’ll camp inside, I’ve got my shows…
(Later)
Ethan: LISTEN, I’m sorry I ran over you…
But you can’t just run in front of me like that…
Simon: Well I had to sniff a rock dad, it was a really cool rock too and I thought I have the right of way, can’t I cross anytime…
Ethan: What is this nonsense, where did you get this?
Simon: Francis…
Ethan: Let’s not listen to Francis…the cat that thinks camping is sleeping ten feet from the porch light…
Besides that…you didn’t even see the snake in the road
Francis: Vipers!
Radiation High radiation nights
There is a place I go (inside)
Feel all the hate
That you can hide
Sell all you can just for a headline
They will tell you
It’s not related
But look how fast you ate it
The algorithms won’t fit
Smash it apart just for –
Doubt all you can
Just for the –
Feel all the pain
heat
The knife just before you pass it
To get the ghost on the inside
Sometimes it passes just behind my eyes
Radiate
Just to kill what crawls
It’s there at the bottom
Pump the root
If you really want
To kill
what remains
the pictures in my head
constantly grow
There on the inside
All at once
You walk on water
All at once
For the sins of the fathers
Try to save what you can
Just a hole for my
Vices
—-
There’s a place I go inside
Carry it with me
Just so I can hide
——
Radiate
The flesh and bone
Pump what remains
Try save something you can build upon
But the ghost remains
Try to aspire but I’m not really –
And I’m running –
I’m fading-
Out of things I think I can say…..
Bleeding out
There
It’s all in red
——-
-E
Clay
I wondered what artist must have felt, from their studios, during war times…if they felt any significance, to continue to carve at clay, to continue to shape, to continue to paint…
Hearts, beating in my head, like drums, you face it, you always must face it, carving your way through it, with ink and pain, bleeding out on this page…
You walk through grief…
There is no other way…
Even when it feels insignificant
Meaningless
——
Maybe this is how we love
Even when it feels meaningless
Even when we feel nothing
Maybe
This is how we live
How
The work must feel
Does it know it is art?
Does it breathe ?
Does it carry us with it?
Is it just clay
Ink
Paint
In a room –
Empty of us –
Empty ?
Or is it aware
Of the darkness in the earth
The grief
The pain
Our hearts slain
Bleeding out
Our voices
Silently screaming
This is the way
This is the way
Is a studio
Hearts beating
Against the night
Against the night
This is the way
-E
On our way
1
You think the Apex of all pain is losing a parent…
You tell yourself, ok, this is it…nothing could hurt more than this – (losing a parent or a divorce etc)
And then you lose a brother…
And there’s such fresh pain
Pain you can’t even understand
It’s just there…
In such a way
That it feels so unfair
it levels the field
You feel
Cheated from something
You don’t even understand
——
2
There’s no order
To this madness
You think
Ok, there’s parents you’ll lose
You prepare for that
But losing a sibling
Is so different
Whether you’re close or not
You really understand the brevity of everything
It wakes you up
From the grind
From the hustle
And you look around you
And you see
How quickly and randomly
All of this can go away
——
3
This funeral home
Where our father was
Where all of us end up
Through our history
Whatever we may do
We end up here
How strange that
We won’t be living
This ache
This invisible target
We really don’t know
—-
4
How complex
How layered
We take things so personally
I remember losing our father and I thought it was all so personal
And it was
In its way
But there is always hurt
Beyond what you see
There is always layers
There are years
Entire decades
Of complexities and issues
That we know nothing about
It’s all so blurred
The lines
We think it starts and ends with us
A moment in time
But it’s layered
Traits, ethics, work, talents, looks, pain, old pain, new pain, life …
I lit a cigarette and I smoked it
I probably shouldn’t have
But I wanted cheesecake
And didn’t have it
And I felt that I was overthinking
——
-E
Regardingsamuel.com
High
We say we want and deserve
High value partners
Premier standards…
But do we even deserve that?
What assets do we bring to the table? Really?
Look at who we surround ourselves with?
It’s easy to be with partners with no vision and no goals and no standards…
You know what to expect
And there’s no standards
You’ll never let them down
And you look pretty great in their environment
But a high value partner
Has standards
Suddenly
Having your shit together
Showing up on time
Doing the bare minimum ?
Is it not called the bare minimum for a reason ?
Really…
You have your own place ?
You listen and support?
You show up on time?
You can cook?
You can dress yourself?
You have a job?
Your car doesn’t impress them?
X Y Z etc
You’re supposed to have those things together
It’s just being an adult …
What else do we bring to the table
Why should they be with us?
What do they really gain
The bare minimum requires zero talent
How am I getting better every day
How am I growing
What am I doing
Really
What are my assets
Becaus whatever I’m doing
Is direction
That’s the path I’m walking
Not what I’m thinking while I’m walking it
Not what I’m saying
But what I’m doing
It’s terrifying
High value requires greatness from us
It pushes you
It does not let you sit still
It does not allow you to just be good enough
It requires the best from you
Every day
Consistency
Not convenience
Not your bad habits
Not your moods
Not your selfishness
It’s easy to let high value down
It’s easy to mess up
And realize you may not be
Everything you think you are
Do we really want what we think we want?
Really?
Or do we want to stay comfortable
In a environment that asks nothing from us
But to just show up – maybe – IF we feel like it…
Go ahead
You can shoot your shot
And get the date
But are you ready to be consistent
Do you really want what you think you want …
-E
Regardingsamuel.com
Work
We romanticized the work
—-
Relationships and love
It’s such a shame
The game
Saying
fooled again
But who’s to blame
When the weapon’s
Hid in both our hands
All is fair in love and war…
——
Love
Passion
And desire
Broken heart over fire
——
Wasted on the young
Broken hearts and casual casualties
——
Someone new this way comes
Out of touch
Out of time
Better hold yours and mine
——
The work is work
And it hurts
To hurt
to die
Time after time
Ache in the decades
Try to understand
Try to understand
We don’t know what we become
Where we will be
You
Me
It’s gonna be
Work
It’s gonna be work
It’s gonna be a long time
To get what you really want
What you really need
—-
There’s no quick wit
Remedy
Yoga trick
Fast tongue and cheek fantasy
——
It’s a short hour from here to eternity
But it’s a long walk
Covering eachother from the weather
If you get what I really mean
-Regardingsamuel.com
