Maybe our Hearts are like caves With burdens of their own Unique Beneath the earths crust And tho Sometimes they give in Like Samson pushing the pillars down they still hold, where it matters most… And Our hearts like caves Still have rooms To discover Still have new ways Waiting to be mapped You are still you You are still new You are still undiscovered Even after all this time -E Regardingsamuel.com
There’s a deep ache in the art… There’s a place you can go Where nobody knows How the love you held Could So easily be ashed from a cigarette … we move from mountains to valleys So easily used to the news Are we surviving ? Or are we just numb from trying … There’s a dream I keep remembering Where we follow the shadows down, we keep creating Lines across paper Making our own way … The sun keeps on setting… Blood in the water Says I don’t have much time… I still have the scars From all of those nights… There’s just enough room To build a new line word after word … Chasing some kind of Immortality a shade of sky There’s some kind of pain Some kind of rain … I’m not looking for anything But my own peace of mind … My own solitude I think I remember But I soon forget Wherever we’re going We have to leave behind …
Come on back To the outside of town Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down … Get gone now, past the interstate The city lights The on ramp The mile marker My hometown My big mistake God only knows We’ve been working hard Forever now… Sinful as they come Can I lay down with you, I don’t have time To carry all this hate Got to lay it down Got to lay it down Got to get gone now Got to get away … —— We’ve got to lay it down We’ve got to drive it out Past the interstate Further on out Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down…
You called me and asked if I believed In PTSD for frontline workers And I said absolutely And you said you just couldn’t do it anymore And someone quit just to sell things on eBay Little firefly white flags of surrender to the universe… I don’t have the answers But I can say That I wish it wasn’t this way… wasn’t it just a few months ago We had spent a few years not talking to our families and breaking up because of politics ? Now we have quarter of a million dollar retail days And we are all so numb and so so young And how do we raise our children How do we be good partners ? How do we stand on our two feet and face each other after this … During this … How can we love each other Hold each other Stand If I’ve learned anything From life It’s stand And trust your voice Is it safe ? To write ? Never… There’s a price in staying the same And there’s a price in creating In writing In building But stand… Quietly Calmly And build Do what you can where you can While you can And forgive Everyone has a story Everyone is a novel And we are just Sentences Not even chapters So forgive And accept that people are not going to change… And you can’t change them… But you direct your life … Someone told me they quit drinking “It’s so easy” they said …”to get carried away…” Me too… We stared into the parking lot … “Recreational…” that’s what we say About substances But it’s so easy to become a habit and a lifestyle… Don’t let that happen… Your anxiety and your sleeplessness Will be so much easier Sober… Trust yourself … Liberty Real liberty Real freedom Is building your own life And it’s also Saying Yes, I get it Me too I’m afraid I’m numb I’m struggling I don’t know exactly what I’m doing But I’m building I’m not staying here There’s not another year here I have a responsibility I can’t stay here … We are all numb And we are all on fumes But we are building We are mourning And grieving Change and loss hurt But we are Here Right now All we have is time You called me… And someone quit just to sell things on eBay Little firefly white flags of surrender to the universe… And I thought about how much we’ve grown How much we’ve changed How much further we have to go… -E
Ethan: How are you feeling today boys? You want to do stuff today or just be lazy? Francis: I’m feeling kind of snackish…maybe the porch. Ethan: The other day I asked you and you didn’t want to do ANYTHING. Francis: Well you always want to go cave diving or bike jumping or book stores! Climb mountainy mountains! Ethan: I asked if you wanted to go to the park… Francis: Oh…wheely? Wows…I don’t ‘member that…
CRUCIBLE ——- To have a heart That beats That makes us heavy That makes us human I saw a nurse Her eyes were glazed Her face numb “Is it really this bad?” I asked “It’s worse…” She stared ahead as if she was a soldier there again, in battle… “It was one thing when we were traveling and dealing with it in New York or somewhere else…but now it’s here…everyday. That worst fear…it’s happening.”
Her shoulders and body ached and stiff From daily, over a year, constantly trying to go against this storm that now covered our maps like red during election time…
It’s easy To get caught up in a movement and lose your head. I don’t have to tell you how bad it is We all have lost Someone By now We all have lost And are losing Parts of ourselves jaded tired burned out numb Living through science as it is worked out So much like man works out salvation Two steps forward One step back In the trenches And we are losing time Time that we will not get back… Working through this You see a shift In how people want to work Are willing to work While my friends My friends with PHDs and medical degrees Are tired And numb ….
“It’s too late…” Almost ripped out of a Montgomery Alabama sermon on a Sunday “It’s too late…” We work out this struggle with time With history with ourselves While living in it And my heart aches For mother’s and fathers For husbands and workers For small businesses For our communities For our children For the nurse Who is the only thing between us and god… For the artist who doesn’t know if it’s even worth it anymore …
If you can keep your head And stand still And use the truth that is in you While all that is around you falls Create Create Build This is when we build In the trenches In the rain In the storm While all around us falls And you are tired And disillusioned When your faith is at its crucible This is when you stand You observe You face life Its pain and its loss Its joy and its mornings And you build
To create a space For all that we’ve loved and lost To hold in memory To not get caught in a quick moment Some new movement Politics And agendas To understand And know There is no quick fix in life for anything There is only consistency And for this We stand every morning Against that storm And we begin again Though we are torn And worn And stretched Our eyes look forward Our heart That beats That makes us heavy That makes us human ….
A poem for a Virgo Sun, Gemini Moon. ———- You do not have to hold up the whole world entire, Go make your bed, Clean your flat, Do your laundry, Start here… —— What does Love need to survive the day? What does hearts like ours need to survive the day? You do not need to hold up the world entire… Start here… Start here… Start here… To survive the day…
A poem for the lonely ——— I changed my profile picture today A world filled with avatars and the illusion of conversations, Likes and debates, But no understanding No empathy Void of emotions never face to face… I am still lonely…. Somewhere a marriage is a ghost ship, Somewhere life got away from a student and now they are a graduate… I hear the stomping feet of children on the stairs but never see them… Somewhere … There is a heaven somewhere … According to a 700 year old poem …. that dreaded letter I learned to avoid in English class…P….poem… Out there we are on our knees before our lovers and gods asking how to be kinder How to love softer How to not be so afraid ….
How can I be kinder How can I love you softer I can I help you not be afraid…
The world is hurricane And brass This burning library
This emergency room This funeral parlor With death angels And poets and priest
This moment ….waiting for the next moment to take the torch and finish the race…
It has been the poets Who meet you – With the morning With your coffee and tea… While the news barrages you Social media harasses you Your cousins don’t understand you… Wall Street And the business falls around the accident in the street, You tuck words in your pockets You read them and you feel that you have a new friend reminded, With the ambulance lights around the accident, Where life became too heavy and too real… These poets… Always present, in the corner of every emergency room Every grocery store, Handing out prescriptions and recipes for whatever season of life you’re in… —— It has been the poets Who meet you in the morning… Words in an abstract line… Mined from this thing called life… But always with you… With empathy and understanding…
“This is one moment, / But know that another / Shall pierce you with a sudden painful joy.” T.S. Eliot